Baby We're Amazed by You...

 

HERE’S A POST FOR THE CHEMICALY EMBALANCED…
WHAT WE’VE MISSED IN OUR TIME AWAY WE MAKE UP FOR IN OUR WORDS

Hello, BWAN followers! How have you all been? Surviving the drought?

We know, we know, we’ve been remiss in updating the world on the fascinating intricacies of the nonsten brain matter, but really, for the past several weeks it’s been nothing but the same regurgitated piffle, “HAHAHA Rob’s still in LA,” “I really want SWATH to fail,” “Kristen’s still a boy,” and “BWAHAHAHAHAHA!” Scintillating, we tell ya. Obviously, some grown-up women don’t have very grown-up minds. And yet some of these women are raising children? We pity future generations.

Of course, it’s been coming from the other side, too. “Rob sucks as a boyfriend.” “He’s staying just for the dog.” “It’s obvious he doesn’t like Kristen or his family.” Blah de blah de blah.

Unlike others during this time, we’ve been enjoying the relative quiet that only a drought can bring. In fact, we rather like the idea that our two favorite people are able to spend so much time out of the limelight, working, recording music, spending time with friends, enjoying strolls in the dog park, eating ice cream at their favorite private hang-out, and being able to relax, IN PRIVATE, like they should.
Now that doesn’t mean that we don’t miss them being together. We do. But what it DOES mean is that we are wise enough in our understanding of how relationships work to know that people in committed, mature relationships (as Rob and Kristen are), don’t NEED to be co-dependent clingers to love one another. They don’t NEED to be joined at the hip 24/7 to continue to communicate, support one another’s careers, and be there for one another. And as both Rob and Kristen are “old souls,” they understand this, too, even if it means spending time apart.

And despite the nonnies’ constant scree, we know without a doubt that our two inamorata will be back together at a time of THEIR choosing.

In the meantime, we’ve been enjoying the relative quiet by taking a step back, enjoying a margarita (or eight or nine) and more or less engaging in our real life’s pursuits. We even picked up a copy of a magazine.

And oh what a Wonderful magazine it is. In fact, some would call it, and its cover girl, downright AMAZING.

Haven’t seen it? Take a look! It doesn’t get much better than this.

Of course, nonnies cried foul when they saw the online photos that emerged last week. “It’s photoshopped,” they moaned. “It doesn’t even look like her,” they bemused. “She looks like Lindsay Lohan!” Do what!?

First of all, anyone who doesn’t think ANY magazine cover isn’t photoshopped to the hilt obviously has NO CLUE how the industry works. All cover shots are photoshopped. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. But when you look at the finished print product of Kristen’s W cover, it’s obviously the majority of the changes to her were via makeup and lighting. Sure, there was some smudging done around her hairline, and a few blemishes perhaps removed, but that’s NORMAL, and Kristen looks GORGEOUS!

Secondly, this is W magazine. HIGH FASHION. Most of their cover shoots are set up to convey some kind of fantasy, where the featured cover model is dressed up to fit a specific editorial theme at the direction of the stylist and editor. And if W was going for the modern version of a 60’s sex kitten, then MEEEE-OWW!

Yesterday, as some folks on twitter may know, actor Mike Welch, who plays Mike Newton in the Twilight franchise, took a moment to share his thoughts on the cover. In short, he said Kristen looked AMAZING!

Now, this is someone who knows Kristen, who has worked with Kristen, and who obviously has much respect and admiration for her. But when he wanted to say something nice about a former co-star, and share those thoughts publicly, oh how the spittle did fly. And poor Mike bore the backlash.

Remember that post we did some weeks back about “The List?” Well, let’s just send out a big BWAN welcome to Michael Welch. Poor guy didn’t even know what hit him.

As is the nonnies’ fashion, he was instantly deemed “irrelevant,” “an idiot,” “one of them.” Far be it from him to throw out a very nice compliment about someone he KNOWS. Because it didn’t fit in with the “I hate Kristen” camp, he was automatically deemed Enemy #247.

“I’m sure he’s happy for that paycheck” they rutted. “He’s completely irrelevant,” they whined. “He obviously has no taste.”

What we at BWAN find MOST amusing is the fact that Michael himself SAW what was happening and called the people out on their behavior. He even sent out a nice twitlonger telling the them, in short, to STFU. And we wonder why ROB doesn’t feel the need to come out and confirm a relationship. Can you imagine the reaction to THAT?

You see, Michael “gets” what this fandom is all about. He understands that for the most part, we are a collective group of people who enjoy our shared experience as fans of Twilight, Rob and Kristen (and the other actors as well). As someone who has been to Twi conventions, and has interacted with thousands if not tens of thousands of fans, he called the fandom “overwhelmingly positive.” He also gets that there is a very ugly side to this, one that’s steeped in intense, and some would say, obsessive, hatred over a TWENTY-ONE YEAR OLD girl. He experienced that first hand yesterday, but we’re going to guess that wasn’t his first taste of it.

Now, some will cry foul and say there is just as much hate directed towards Nikki (certainly from the Krisibian camp there is), and Ashley (calling all Demi Lovato fans), but really, the bulk of the vitriol is directed at Kristen. And why? We’ll give you a three-letter hint: R-O-B.

Ninnies claim they want to see Rob without Kristen. That they are separate people. Okay. Fair enough. Especially for Rob’s non-TWI films. But that being the case, then why, with no impetus but that of their own making, do they continue to seek out information about Kristen and read up on her movies and independent, non-film projects? Why, without any valid reason, do they continue to talk about her DAILY, ingraining her more and more in their own minds? They complain she is being shoved down their throats with great regularity, but if that’s the case, then why do they seek out information about her? And continue to comment about things? Shouldn’t a full-on “Kristen purge” also include ceasing to discuss her altogether? Ya know, the old “out of sight, out of mind” scenario? Surely, even the most small-minded among them (and let’s face it, they are all small-minded), can manage that. Because that makes all the sense in the world, right? Not in the world of NON-sense, apparently. And to think they call us [sic] “chemicaly embalanced.”

So, what can we do? Sit back, have a real good laugh, enjoy another margarita or two, and continue to toast to both Rob and Kristen’s many successes, both now and those to come. Cheers!

P.S. For those worried that BWAN will be going away simply because a certain site is closing its NINNIECOM doors? Never fear. We’ll always be here to call out the ninnies’ BS. Have a nice day, nitwits!

 

Bear Pattinson and the PR Pawn: A Furry Tale

Once upon a time, in the land of non, there was a dog named Bear there were two shelter dogs. The first dog was adopted by a beautiful, adorkable Prince named Robert. Robert was the fairest Prince in all of ninnidom, admired by all of his subjects for his dashing good looks, winsome smile and charming personality. He was also a kind-spirited soul; so kind, in fact, that while filming a movie, he saved a poor puppy from unthinkable harm. This puppy was named Bear.

Around the same time adorkable Prince Rob rescued the fair Bear, a second dog was adopted from the very same shelter. But instead of being whisked away to a life of unimaginable luxury, this second dog – which happens to look EXACTLY LIKE Bear -- was snatched up by an evil Rob-stealer named Kristen, a villainess so horrible and vile, ninnies created a website for the sole purpose of tearing her down. According to ninny lore, Kristen adopted this second dog to use as a mechanism of evil. Instead of living its life jet-setting from one movie set to another, this second dog is being used for the sole purpose of promulgating the supposed romantic relationship between Prince Rob and Kristen in order to sell a movie (or five).

This second dog was also named “Bear,” but it’s not the real Bear, it’s a fake “Bear,” (let's call it "Panda") just a mere pawn in the ongoing publicity scheme drawn up by the evil bastards at Summit, movie studio and all-around life ruiners.

The first Bear is living the life of luxury. All black and brown, with a muzzle as black as night, and cute….

Mole #539: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! STOP!! What are you saying here, exactly?

Mole #3: What do you mean?

Mole #539: In this story? Are you trying to say that there is a SECOND dog, which looks exactly like the FIRST dog, and this second dog is being used as a PR pawn?

Mole #3: That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Mole #539: Where do you come up with this shit?

Mole #3: Where do you think? At nonsten, of course.

Mole #539: You mean to tell me that people actually believe that Kristen adopted ANOTHER dog – a dog which HAPPENS TO look exactly like Bear – for the sole purpose of public relations?

Mole #3: Yup.

Mole #539:You've lost me. How do they make that leap?

Mole #3: Well, apparently the first time “Bear” was caught on camera was when he was walking with Kristen’s assistant John (ninnies call him Toilet, by the way) on the set of Breaking Dawn. Since Rob wasn’t walking the dog, they automatically assumed it was another dog – NOT Bear, even though he fit how “Bear” had been described. Their theory is that by “planting” a second dog near and/or with Kristen, and her staff, then it creates the illusion that FauxBear is really Bear, when he’s really not, thereby making people believe that Rob and Kristen are “together,” when they’re really not.

Mole #539: That’s convoluted.

Mole #3: *blinks* Oh. There’s more.

Mole #539: More?

Mole #3: Sure. Remember when Kristen was in New York and was photographed leaving her hotel with a dog that had a “Bear” name tag on it?

Mole #539: Sure. That was Bear.

Mole #3: Not so fast. According to the ninnies, that was “FauxBear”, but Kristen just had a “Bear” name tag put on the dog so she could be seen papped with it, even though it’s not the real “Bear,” just the fake Bear, so people would believe that it’s really Rob’s dog, therefore reinforcing the Summit-driven agenda that Kristen and Rob are together in real life.

Mole #539: So, you’re telling me that Kristen took it upon herself to adopt an animal – one for which she’ll be responsible for the next 12-15 years – in order to push a conspiratorial public relations agenda about hers and Rob’s relationship?

Mole #3: Yes. But it’s Summit’s fault.

Mole #539: What is Summit’s fault?

Mole #3: FauxBear is Summit’s fault. They made her adopt him.

Mole #539: Oh, is this kind of like the way Summit paid another film studio and director to make arrangements for Kristen to visit Rob on the set of Cosmopolis, even though Cosmopolis has NOTHING to do with the Twilight franchise?

Mole #3: More or less, yes. Summit is the grand dictator of the world you know. They can even be blamed for the current financial crisis.

Mole #539: How so?

Mole #3: I don’t know, but I’m sure the ninnies will find a theory about that, as well.

Mole #539: So who was the dog Rob was seen with on the balcony while in Toronto, and the one he was seen walking in the park with the other day?

Mole #3: Oh, that was FauxBear. He was being walked for PR.

Mole #539: How do they know that?

Mole #3: They don’t really. They’re just keeping their options open.

Mole #539: Options open?

Mole #3: Yes. Construing a theory such as FauxBear allows them to hang on to the illusion that the truth that Rob and Kristen are really in a relationship together and that there is one and ONLY ONE Bear really doesn’t exist. The second dog theory gives them an out, makes them feel better about themselves.

Mole #539: So, how do they tell these two dogs apart?

Mole #3: Ears. They say FauxBear’s ears are too floppy to be part German Shepherd, which real Bear is. According to them, German Shepherd mixes should have ears that stick straight up.

Mole #539: But shepherds ARE BORN WITH floppy ears. They get straighter as the dog matures – about the six month mark.

Mole #3: You don’t say.

Mole #539: Any bit of research into the breed with tell you that. Where do they come up with these theories?

Mole #3: *stares blankly*

Mole #539: Nevermind. I really don’t want to know. So, if all of this is the case, then where is the original Bear?

Mole #3: No one knows. Rob is keeping him out of the view of the paparazzi. He’s parading FauxBear around to sell the relationship. The dog is a PR tool. And Rob and Kristen are just trying to “stick it to the fans,” on purpose, so it would seem. Apparently they have nothing else to do with their lives than play PR games with their fans.

Mole #539: So, they’re doing this on purpose?

Mole #3: According to the ninnies. Yes. Rob and Kristen are lying, manipulative assholes who sold their souls to Summit and are bankrolling millions of dollars by continuing to toy with fans’ emotions, giving up five years of their private lives to continue this ongoing charade. FauxBear is just the latest pawn in the game.

Mole #539: Does anything these people say make any sense at all?

Mole #3: *stares pointedly*

Mole #539: My brain is tired.

Mole #3: WOOF!

We’ll leave you with Rob’s own words:

“People think we have people organizing everything, that it’s a publicity stunt. It’s not.”

Of Mice and Moles...

It appears we've gotten the attention of some who disagree with our stance on things, some of whom chose to blog about us. We've thought long and hard on how to respond to this blog. Some of us didn't care one way or the other, others were all fired up and ready to come out swinging, and yet another was more inclined to ignore the attention altogether. So, as we at BWAN tend to do, we reached a compromise.


But as is the case once again, it seems people need clarification on what we do.


First of all, we are not here to be ANYTHING to a fandom of shippers. We don't do that. We are NOT on a boat. We are on dry land, sipping Margaritas and simply putting down to paper (or Blogger, as the case may be) our often analytical thoughts about this insanity.


Secondly, we do not EVER do anything other than call out hate and stupidity, with a bit of psychoanalysis thrown in for shits and giggles. We firmly believe that the only thing worse than hate itself is IGNORING that hate. It is our OPINION that by ignoring hate, you are inadvertently condoning that behavior. We sat back for a very long time and observed from the sidelines. It did not get better over time. In fact, it got worse. It became vicious and NO ONE would discuss it.


So we grew a set and decided to stand up and say that we did not believe this behavior was morally or socially acceptable. (Funny, seems our blogger from this morning feels the same way about us).


Here's the thing, we don't like what the ninnies have to say, so we blogged about it. And guess what? Another fandom blogger didn't like what WE had to say. So? SHE BLOGGED ABOUT IT. That is her right. She is allowed her opinion. We are allowed to disagree.


On that note, don't like us? Cool. We aren't insecure nor do we need your approval. We knew when we started BWAN we'd likely attract people who appreciated our efforts, as well as a fair share of folks who don't like what we have to say. We are more than capable of accepting that not everyone agrees with us. So, go ahead. BLOG ABOUT IT if that's what makes you feel better about yourself. But don't get ranty when people make sniping comments about your blog post. If you're going to put it out there, you better be ready and willing to deal with the crapstorm that heads your way.


Don't like to see us in your feed? Filter us out. Don't get upset if people you know DO like our opinions. Be an adult.


As for the assumptions about who is behind this? Suffice it to say there are MORE THAN TWO people in the universe capable of blogging and/or sharing an opinion. Neither RoseSee nor Delaney are BWAN  bloggers, guest bloggers or anything in-between.


In fact, if people would look at our past tweets they'd see we do not even agree with at least one of those aforementioned fandom members.
That's all for now.


We hope everyone at least attempted to go out and enjoy their weekend.


Oh, and one more thing. When you try a "social experiment" with this fandom, make sure it doesn't turn around and kick you in the ass.

And the Hate Goes On

Sad title to a blog post, don’t you think? Sad, but very true. You see, the Twi twitterverse got thrown into a bit of a tizzy this morning when it was some time announced by the head honcho hate mongers site administrators of nonsten.com that they will be closing up shop as of September 1.

Lots of people rejoiced at the news. Others, like we here at BWAN, took a side-eye approach, being always skeptical of the motives of this particular group.  Ninnies claim the site is closing because, after two years, site administrators are simply ready to move on. Whatever, the reasons for the closing don’t really matter. The fact they felt a need to open it in the first place does.

Some would like to think that we may have had a bit of a hand in the nonsten admins’ decision to close the doors, but realistically, our egos aren’t big enough to allow us to stretch quite that far. We do know for a fact that we’ve become at least a thorn in many ninnies’ sides, otherwise they wouldn’t keep talking ABOUT, and to, us. (And if you haven’t gathered, they really don’t like us all that much.)

Some in ninniland are under the gross misimpression that because nonsten.com will go away, we at BWAN no longer have anything to talk about. Trust us, we have material for months, if not longer.

Where there is hate, there is always someone out there to counter it. No matter its form, no matter its source, no matter its location.

And sadly, as much as some would like to think that the demise of nonsten.com is the demise of the hate, it simply isn’t true.

You see, people who are so low-minded as to open website forums with the sole intention of making indefensibly vulgar and obtuse comments about a young actress (she was still a minor when they opened, we’ll remind you) simply because she is the object of affection of an actor they choose to admire, will always find a sewer pipe in which to leave their stench on the world.

Like roaches after an apocalypse, the dark holes in which they hide may be smaller, and their numbers may be lessened, but insects of this variety will live on.

It’s a sad fact bound in history.

So keep spewing, ninnies. We’ll still be here to let the world see you for who you really are.

___________________________

We’ll leave you with a reminder about what Rob himself had to say about people who churn hateful remarks about Kristen (pardon our correction):  “That whole system of Internet journalists [sic] ninnies, where no one is called into account, is almost entirely about hate. All these people get away with doing it because they have no responsibility to anyone.”

We at BWAN are sure that Rob, were he to know that HIS fans were actually behind the gutter-worthy sniping at Kristen, regardless of what his relationship to and or with her actually is, would be disgusted by what is going on. Let’s just hope he never finds out.

Anything You Can Do, We Can Do Better

The Boy is Mine

Well, well, well BWAN family. It’s a beautiful Sunday isn’t it? Filled with daisies and cupcakes, and, as expected, copious amounts of hatorade that never ceases to take a vacation.

Of course, as most of the free world knows by now, Kristen Stewart visited the set of Cosmopolis Thursday night, and my, oh my, how the bitter bile of derision took flight once again.

 At this juncture, it seems spittle could have its own membership in the Ten Million Mile Frequent Flier Club in just about any airline in the world. (Does Air Canada have such a program? We wonder.)

For this post, we’re going to move forward a bit from our ongoing theme of projection. To be honest, we had kind of wanted to spend time refuting some of the more outlandish ninnyosophies that surfaced this morning (the Kristen set pics were a Summit set ploy to take away from Harry Potter, The Royals; Bear is a PR tool), but they’re just so damn tiresome, and there are just so many of them, that to wade through the mountain of bullshit would have been a Sisyphean task.*

Before we begin, let’s have a refresher course? When last we left you, we were talking about the many ways ninnies ascribe negative attributes felt about themselves and project them onto Kristen. She just happens to be an easy target for them because: a) she’s not really within earshot; and b) well, she has what “they” want (or at least think they could somehow attain.)

Going back to Freud, projection is a psychological defense mechanism whereby “emotions or excitations which the ego tries to ward off are ‘spit out’ (hehe, spit) and then felt as being outside the ego…perceived in another person.” It is also expressed by projecting false accusations, information, etc., onto an individual for the sole purpose of maintaining a self-created illusion.”

Instead of looking at things in a rational manner and accepting them as they are, ninnies seem to be stuck on Platoform 1 and ¾ of the Kübler-Ross model of The Five Stages of Grief;

That second hurtle is a little difficult for them to jump over. 

They seem to be clinging to a sort of limbo between denial and anger, and claiming some sense of ownership of Rob in doing so.

Now, last WE checked, “ownership” of another human being was illegal in most civilized societies today. Ninnies, however, seem to think this doesn’t apply to them.

While we know they are not talking about actual “physical” ownership of Rob as a person (well, some we really do wonder about), they certainly feel they are ENTITLED to ownership of Rob’s career and life choices, including who he elects to spend his private time with.

It’s as if they are the exalted ones, the “true” fans (accordingly, if you are a fan of Kristen’s, you cannot be a true fan of Rob), the ones who can, with a mere tweet, control what he does in his life.

Somehow, they seem to think that Rob, by being in a relationship with Kristen, is forever tying himself to Edward.  

“He’ll ruin his career,” they moan. “She’s nothing but a clinger!” they lament. “He’ll never break away from Twilight if he stays with HER,” they crow.

Um. Isn’t that what he did with GREAT success in Water for Elephants? Isn’t that what he’s doing NOW with Cosmopolis? How is maintaining a relationship, with a person ninnies happen to HATE not like, keeping Rob from succeeding?

Just who are these fans to make these judgment calls for him? Last we checked, Nick and Stephanie were taking that 10% commission (that’s 10% EACH, btw) to help him in moving forward WITH HIS career. And while they might, from time to time, offer what is likely advice on personal matters, don’t you think, if they thought Kristen was an impediment to his career, they’d advise against him being with her?

Don’t you think, the people who understand MOST how this business works, who want to see him succeed beyond Twilight (after all, money he earns is money in their pockets), they would tell him to step away (or would have told him not to pursue it in the first place), if it would cause him harm?

Oh.

And do you honestly believe that the person who refuses to get a publicist because he doesn’t “like to be controlled,” is allowing anybody, including a chintzy and often desperate-looking production company, to DICTATE HIS PERSONAL LIFE?

Somehow, ninnies didn’t get this message.

They snort on about what he needs to do in order to succeed. But succeed in whose mind, exactly? That of the major collective outside of the Twilight world, or theirs and theirs alone? And exactly WHAT experience do these females have IN the business of making movies and of Hollywood operations? It seems a bit myopic that THEIR approval should be the only one that matters, but that’s what happens when they project their self-hatred onto Kristen, and in so doing, fabricate some sense of ownership of Rob and his life.

One person, in describing her opinion of Thursday night’s goings on, went so far as to call him “our Rob?” 

 “Our?” Can you present a Certificate of Ownership to go with that “our?”

Yes. Yes WE did.

                                                                          

Last time we checked, he belonged to himself, made his personal decisions for himself, and didn’t ask you for advice.

Believe it or not, there are plenty of people out there who don’t care in the least who he is dating.

And we are NOT referring to you, Vanessa "Strictly Rob".

They just want to see him as a performer and judge him ON THAT MERIT. Likewise, much to many ninnies’ disdain, fans of both Rob’s and Kristen’s are I-N-T-E-L-L-I-G-E-N-T enough to be able to S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E fiction from reality, and Edward and Bella from Robert and Kristen. Most Rob and Kristen supporters (yes, even those who would be “sheep”) are able to rationalize that Rob, and Kristen, are two individual people, with individual careers, who happen to be in a relationship TOGETHER.

They don’t lay claim to what he should or should not do with regard to his life, and while some do make funny and sarcastic comments about a desire for a “golden child” (and yes, even a few BWAN contributors roll our eyes at that one… hey, we don’t agree on EVERYTHING), there’s a colossal difference between THAT sort of “wouldn’t it be cute if” kind of projecting, and the absolute displacement of emotion ninnies seem to have when it comes to their desires for his life.

Just in case you don’t believe us, here are some actual quotes.

“Rob is blind enough not to see he is being used by a famewhore. C’mon she wasn’t that dramatic with Michael.”

“He could be further along, but he’s not. If he misses out on [sic] Buckly (the real one), it’s because of her.”

“The choices people make determine the way they are looked at. No one here looks good. And by no one, I mean him.”

So our question then, is twofold:

1.          What claim do ninnies have on Rob that others don’t have?

2.          After ALL of this, with all of the supposed PR machinations, and conspiracy plots, and alleged lies, and other schemes they dream up on a daily basis (go look at that projection definition again), how can they, as people, continue to support him and his career?

We can tell you right now that were it to come out that Rob – the adorable young man, raised by two incredibly sincere, gracious and stable parents – had bartered himself in such a way as to allow his personal life become a Public Relations joke, we’d drop him like a hot potato.

We did as much for Tom Cruise (in whom as a fan we were much less invested) after the Oprah couch-jumping incident.

Further, what does it say about yourself as a person that you would think so poorly of an individual – and one who has proven himself time and time again to be upstanding in every way – that he would allow himself to be manipulated in such a manner?

The mere fact that ninnies can only rectify things by creating X-Files worthy plot devices in order to cling to their “ownership” of him speaks volumes.

The boy’s not mine, not ours, not yours, and not the "MAN’S". He belongs to no one but himself – and a certain lovely brunette who visits him on set, cares for his dog, and bakes him loquat crumbles.

*Sisyphean Task: From Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a king who was punished for tricking the and sent to live in the afterworld where his eternal sentence was to roll a huge boulder up a steep hill, but before he could reach the top, the rock would roll back down, forcing him to begin again. A Sisyphean task means an endless task of futility.