So, we hear someone is a little upset.
Want to try one more time, Candy?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
A Tale of Legal Untruths
Ah, nonnies. What would we do without their incessant rambling and petty judgments about a celebrity they neither know, nor really know anything about – with the exception of media snippets they love to chew on like an old shoe. Their mass psychosis would astound even the most seasoned behavioral psychologist, and their sense of LOGIC defies the most reasoned of rationalists. (The yellow bag or Bear the dog as a PR tactic? Ho-kay!)
Of course, a favorite among them is CandyKizzes, she with “inside” knowledge of Summit’s most devious PR schemes, who is besties with the “New Moon” makeup artist who was uncovered as a fraud, she who has photoshopped pics of herself with Rob and called them real. Oh, and she who said she was NOT attending a Marcus Foster show in London, only to be seen and called out by several witnesses who were at the same show.
Somehow, and for some reason, several nonnies cling to Candy's every word as if it were their undisputed truth. And why shouldn't they? With such erudite musings as "go STFU you stupid cunts...go suck on a cock and chooke on it bitch. your dumb," she represents the utmost in knowledge and authority.
You'd think they'd call her out on her BS, but no. She keeps on spinning her horse tails. And what would that latest tale be, you ask?
Well, BWAN is happy to tell you.
Seems like twitter’s favorite fib fabricator has gone and got herself enrolled in “Law School.” And not just any law school, but “Fordam” – the highly-prestigious Jesuit Law School in New York City. That’s right, The Maven of Mendacity is going to be a member of the bar, or so she insinuates (*coughsputterchoke*).
Problem is, this is a bit of a prevarication.
We at BWAN raised an eyebrow at that claim, and being of curious mind, opted to investigate, just to check its veracity.
Let's present some evidence, shall we?
EXHIBIT A: No first-year law classes are being taught at Fordham (with an H, Candy, spell it correctly) this summer, and Candy’s schooling started Monday night, so that presents a problem.
“Well, that doesn’t mean anything” I hear you doubters say. "Pics or it didn't happen."
Pics, you say? Oh, we have pics.
May we present EXHIBIT B: a photo of Candy’s new computer she tweeted Monday night.
The computer is not what caught our eye, however.
You see, our skeptical selves, having great experience being around lawyers, saw a problem with this evidence. This “law book” didn’t quite look like the brand of law book most LAW STUDENTS we know have used. In fact, it looked quite “text booky” (official legal term).
So, being curious-minded and thoroughly analytical as most attorneys should be, and using the book authors' names as our crumb trail, we decided to dig a bit, and what should we find?
Jurors, may we present you with: EXHIBIT C.
And to think all this time we thought Candy was ALREADY a paralegal. Why? Because she's told us that over and over and over again. Another lie, Candy?
Now, the last time we checked, there was a monumental difference between paralegals and attorneys at law (by the way, Fordham doesn't have a paralegal program). While most paralegals we’ve known have been well educated, and by no means do we disparage the work they do (we know some who are VERY highly skilled and know their way around a court room even better than an actual lawyer), we think that saying you are going to “law school” when, in fact, you are not, is what members of the legal profession call perjury.
Most people who go to “law school” end up with an actual Doctor of Jurisprudence, which also requires a bachelor's degree, neither of which Candy has or will have. Heck, we just hope she is able to learn the difference between your/you're & to/too while there (but don't hurt yourself) and maybe even pick up some pointers on legal ethics as well (good luck with that one).
Nice work, Candy. Keep spinning those tales and we'll be here to fish out the truth.
We know some of the words used might confuse you. Please forgive us for putting our multiple degrees to use and actually having a higher education. Therefore, we have provided you with definitions of the more complex vocabulary.
Erudite - characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly
Maven - an expert or connoisseur.
Mendacity - untruthfulness; tendency to lie.
Prevarication - to speak falsely or misleadingly; deliberately misstate or create an incorrect impression; lie.
Veracity - habitual observance of truth in speech or statement; truthfulness.
Perjury - the willful giving of false testimony under oath or affirmation, before a competent tribunal, upon a point material to a legal inquiry.
Ethics- a complex of moral precepts held or rules of conduct followed by an individual
Of course, a favorite among them is CandyKizzes, she with “inside” knowledge of Summit’s most devious PR schemes, who is besties with the “New Moon” makeup artist who was uncovered as a fraud, she who has photoshopped pics of herself with Rob and called them real. Oh, and she who said she was NOT attending a Marcus Foster show in London, only to be seen and called out by several witnesses who were at the same show.
Somehow, and for some reason, several nonnies cling to Candy's every word as if it were their undisputed truth. And why shouldn't they? With such erudite musings as "go STFU you stupid cunts...go suck on a cock and chooke on it bitch. your dumb," she represents the utmost in knowledge and authority.
You'd think they'd call her out on her BS, but no. She keeps on spinning her horse tails. And what would that latest tale be, you ask?
Well, BWAN is happy to tell you.
Seems like twitter’s favorite fib fabricator has gone and got herself enrolled in “Law School.” And not just any law school, but “Fordam” – the highly-prestigious Jesuit Law School in New York City. That’s right, The Maven of Mendacity is going to be a member of the bar, or so she insinuates (*coughsputterchoke*).
Problem is, this is a bit of a prevarication.
We at BWAN raised an eyebrow at that claim, and being of curious mind, opted to investigate, just to check its veracity.
Let's present some evidence, shall we?
EXHIBIT A: No first-year law classes are being taught at Fordham (with an H, Candy, spell it correctly) this summer, and Candy’s schooling started Monday night, so that presents a problem.
“Well, that doesn’t mean anything” I hear you doubters say. "Pics or it didn't happen."
Pics, you say? Oh, we have pics.
May we present EXHIBIT B: a photo of Candy’s new computer she tweeted Monday night.
The computer is not what caught our eye, however.
You see, our skeptical selves, having great experience being around lawyers, saw a problem with this evidence. This “law book” didn’t quite look like the brand of law book most LAW STUDENTS we know have used. In fact, it looked quite “text booky” (official legal term).
So, being curious-minded and thoroughly analytical as most attorneys should be, and using the book authors' names as our crumb trail, we decided to dig a bit, and what should we find?
Jurors, may we present you with: EXHIBIT C.
And to think all this time we thought Candy was ALREADY a paralegal. Why? Because she's told us that over and over and over again. Another lie, Candy?
Now, the last time we checked, there was a monumental difference between paralegals and attorneys at law (by the way, Fordham doesn't have a paralegal program). While most paralegals we’ve known have been well educated, and by no means do we disparage the work they do (we know some who are VERY highly skilled and know their way around a court room even better than an actual lawyer), we think that saying you are going to “law school” when, in fact, you are not, is what members of the legal profession call perjury.
Most people who go to “law school” end up with an actual Doctor of Jurisprudence, which also requires a bachelor's degree, neither of which Candy has or will have. Heck, we just hope she is able to learn the difference between your/you're & to/too while there (but don't hurt yourself) and maybe even pick up some pointers on legal ethics as well (good luck with that one).
Nice work, Candy. Keep spinning those tales and we'll be here to fish out the truth.
We know some of the words used might confuse you. Please forgive us for putting our multiple degrees to use and actually having a higher education. Therefore, we have provided you with definitions of the more complex vocabulary.
Erudite - characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly
Maven - an expert or connoisseur.
Mendacity - untruthfulness; tendency to lie.
Prevarication - to speak falsely or misleadingly; deliberately misstate or create an incorrect impression; lie.
Veracity - habitual observance of truth in speech or statement; truthfulness.
Perjury - the willful giving of false testimony under oath or affirmation, before a competent tribunal, upon a point material to a legal inquiry.
Ethics- a complex of moral precepts held or rules of conduct followed by an individual
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