Thursday, May 31, 2012

The One You're Not Going To Like...





We try not to step beyond debunking the repeated attacks against Kristen (and Robert), but we’ve been spying a recurring theme as of late that has everything to do with what we’ve been saying about nonstens, the “overly-invested” and boundaries.

When it comes to Rob and Kristen’s friends, in what way is this your business? Can you for any valid reason justify why you need to stalk their twitter and/or other social media accounts, and intrude upon their lives?


We’ve long been aware of the twitter accounts of Kristen’s friend Scout Taylor-Compton, as well as others who run in Robert & Kristen’s close-knit circle.

We’re also well aware that those individuals, which also include Robert’s “Brit Pack” musician friends, as well as THEIR friends, have twitter and instagram accounts, many of which are followed by thousands within the fandom.

Our first question to these fans would be, why are you even following? For the “Brit Pack” guys who are working to promote their music and forward their own careers, we understand. They need to connect with and establish their own fan bases away from Rob and from what we have seen, have done that very well (although we also have it on pretty good authority that they hate  – HATE - twitter for multiple and varied reasons).


For the other friends, who are being followed by fans for no other reason than to try and get a “glimpse” of Robert and Kristen’s private lives, we have to ask “why?” Is it really your business when Robert and Kristen host a pool party, and if so, what kind of food is served there?

Just because someone puts it out “there” does not make it right for you to hijack it and post it on your blog, your tumblr, or retweet it as part of your own pursuit to know everything there is to know about Robert and Kristen’s private lives.

What unsettles us most with this is that the same fans who are so quick to call “foul ball” when it comes to nasty comments at Kristen or Rob by any one of the collective nonsten/nonbert bunch, is that when it comes to Scout and others, YOU DO THE EXACT SAME THING!


“She’s a famewhore,” some fans cry. “She needs to shut up,” others bitch.


Well, helllloooo...





Now we know this post isn’t going to rank us any higher on the popularity meter. In fact, it may damn well lose us followers. But the fact of the matter is, there are several of you who point fingers at others for the exact same behaviors you are indulging in. Except when those fingers are being pointed in a different direction, you seem to deem that okay.

Now, from where we sit, Scout, et al, are just “normal” twenty-something people who want to engage in twitter and social media just like millions of other “normal” twenty-something people in the world. The fact that Scout just happens to be close friends with someone who earned a $30+ million paycheck last year, is currently starring in one of the summer’s most highly-anticipated films, and has had her face on at least 7 (by last count) fashion magazines in 2012 is a pretty big deal.

But we sincerely doubt Scout even looks at it that way. In fact, we’re pretty sure that Scout regards her friendship with Kristen as one that is what it is – a friendship with a person who happens to be famous. Like other “normal” twenty-something girls, there’s no doubt that Kristen needs and appreciates close friends in her life, especially given her chosen profession and the amount of time she has to travel and be away from home. Friends ground her. Friends keep her from getting lost in the magnanimous groundswell of attention and fame she is receiving right now. Friends, especially, who appreciate her laid-back California attitude, who share her taste in music, film and art, are tantamount to her success.


From what we can tell, Scout has been friends with Kristen for several years. We don’t know the genesis of this friendship (although we’re certain some fan stalkers think they do), nor how often they actually see each other. What we can see, as has been evidenced (and shared by the fandom) via tweets and photos, is that Scout and Kristen have traveled together, have gone to concerts together, have had parties together, and have just engaged in and enjoyed very “normal” types of activities together. (Does that “normal” thing ring a bell?) Kristen has also invited Scout to premieres and other events she has attended AND showed her support for Scout at the screening of her movie Love Ranch last year.





From time to time Scout will tweet about such outings, but only in the context of “So proud of my friend tonight,” or “Please go see SWATH.”


Now, we don’t know about you, but the last time we checked, that was showing support to a friend who “happens to be famous.” She’s not naming Kristen’s name. She is not sharing her address or saying anything about Kristen and Rob’s relationship, nor divulging dirty little secrets about Kristen’s personal life.


How many of you have made similar mentions about things your friends are doing? “Can’t wait to go see “The Avengers” with my best friend this weekend.”  “My bestie just came over and we’re having margarita night.”


So we ask you - How does this differ? If you were a seemingly-normal 20-something year old person, who happened to be close friends with someone who is famous, and had opportunities to do exciting things, wouldn’t you tweet about them all the same? It’s one thing to say “Watch me! I’m going to be on the red carpet with my best friend Kristen Stewart tonight,” but Scout doesn’t do that. What she says is subtle and she’s genuinely proud and happy for Kristen. Why shouldn’t she be? Aren’t you?


How many fans attending a SWATH premiere tweeted about their experiences? How many fans, having attended BD or even Cosmopolis events have tweeted about the same?

So put yourself in Scout’s shoes. She’s acting like most normal, 20-something people using social media.

Calling her a famewhore and questioning her motives when CLEARLY Kristen knows what is going on in the social media realm is not really respecting Kristen’s choices, now is it?

In doing so, you are acting the same way the nonberts and nonstens do when they say they “respect” Rob or Kristen, but then engage in continued smear campaigns about their chosen significant other.

So, learn from the others and the behaviors you say you abhor in them. Then turn around and look at how you’re doing it yourself.


And as for Scout, et. al., let them enjoy their “friends” and all the perks that come with that friendship. She’s certainly not hurting Kristen, and if she was, or if Kristen was bothered by it, don’t you think she’d tell Scout to stop?




Tuesday, May 29, 2012

HAPPINESS [is] ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED





“A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.” – Hugh Downs

Those who have been in this fandom for some time are well aware of the ongoing divisiveness between Rob and Kristen supporters, and the particularly loathsome group known as “nonstens.” After all, we at BWAN wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them.





Like others, we’ve often asserted that one of the principle reasons for their consistent derision towards Kristen is that they are, on the core, grossly unhappy people.

So imagine while working on a post about empathy -- (nonstens, they don’t have it) -- when serendipity graced us with an article from purposefairy.com. The title of the post? “Fifteen Powerful Things Happy People Do Differently.”

We’ve said before that the nonstens’ continued outward expression of disdain towards Kristen is more a reflection of what they feel about themselves than anything else, but the more we read, the more we saw just how that manifested itself in many, multi-faceted ways.

Just what are these fifteen attributes?

We'll list a few here, adding our own comments, but we encourage everyone to read the entire article, which gives great perspective on how positive people lead happy, successful lives.

ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE. To paraphrase, happy people genuinely accept what is and don't try to force change on something that is out of their control. In nonsten nomenclature, this would be translated as: “not giving a fuck and then really NOT making an issue about it.”

Not so with the ninnies.  Their idea runs more along the lines of “claiming to not give a fuck but then continuing to prove how many fucks you really do give by talking about things they supposedly don’t give a fuck about.”

Something we've seen time and time again is that the nonstens are anti-acceptance. In fact, they’ve existed for years by leaning upon made-up, unsubstantiated theories (no, you are NOT in contact with Nick), or trying to spread rumors and innuendo that are blatantly false (no, Kristen is NOT gay, nor sleeping her way through the Hollywood casting couch circuit). Instead, they work tirelessly to propagate an alliance of like-minded individuals in order to gain more acceptance for themselves. The fact that they are throwing another human being under the bus to forward their vitriolic message is proof enough that these people are not working from a place of happiness (or sanity).





Resistance seems to be their stalwart mantra against the so-called evil PR-doers of the studio and a dearth of other individuals that are on the now-infamous “list.”  They claim that they are just being “independent thinkers,” but independent thinking does not always equate with intelligent thinking, especially if it comes from a place of negativity and discontent.

As Carl Jung once said: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” At this point, the nonnies have construed such a pile of lies and untruths they will likely never be able to find their way out of the stink.

“We create worlds as the natural expression of our being” – Yoga Vasistha

FORGIVENESS vs. UNFORGIVENESS. Happy people know that it’s not healthy to hold on to anger, especially anger of self. What we’ve seen from so many of the nonstens is that anger is like the shadow they can’t get rid of, no matter the time of day.  They cling to it and it clings to them, and it’s manifested in such a way that something for any reasonable person would be looked at with mild annoyance to a nonsten becomes the pique which sets off their entire attitude toward life (and vice-versa). They see someone they lust after demonstrating deep emotional feelings towards someone they see as unworthy of those affections, and become unhinged. While they claim not to be jealous of Kristen per se, they are angry at themselves (and the world) for not being in a position where they can be in the kind of relationship that she has. In essence, this anger stems from deep-seated feelings of unworth for not being able to find someone like Rob. It’s not that they covet HIM, but they covet the idea of someone like him in their lives. Kristen has that. They do not. This is a reprehensible idea to them since she reminds them of themselves, and yet, she got the hot guy.

They refuse to “forgive” him for his attachment to her so instead, turn their self-loathing onto her.  If Rob can see to it to find deep love in his own life, without their input or influence, why do they insist upon clinging to their anger and not letting go?

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” Ernest Hemingway







TRUST vs. DOUBT. This is a big one. In short, happy people trust themselves and the people around them. No matter who it is, they trust first, then become wary only after that person has proven to personally act in a manner that is untrustworthy. Negative people tend to doubt any and everything around them, even themselves. Their life experiences have shown them that people are not to be trusted, that their own poor sense of worth deems them incapable of trust, so they create prejudice without insight, and have a difficult time trusting themselves and their own instincts.

While many call this doubt “independent thinking,” the sources which with they rely upon for this “independent” information are often just as untrustworthy themselves. This has been proven countless times since the fandom started, yet still they persist with this line of reasoning. To do otherwise would mean casting away their doubt and accepting what they don’t want to believe.

What’s particularly hypocritical about this attribute is how damaging it is to Rob. They supposedly “trust” his movie choices and what he wants for his career, they “trust” his choices in music, books, and friends (how many claim to be bffs with Sam, et al), but they can’t or won’t trust his decisions about Kristen and his feelings towards her.

Instead, they prefer to claim that he is the unwitting victim in THE GREATEST MARKETING SCHEME EVER MANUFACTURED BY A MOVIE STUDIO, and (not so) willingly participates in a highly-choreographed dance where every smile, hand-hold and mock toothpick fight is orchestrated by the Summit marketing machine, even when Summit and/or Twilight are literally oceans away.  Based upon some of their musings, some seem to think there’s a book somewhere that outlines the specific behaviors Robert and Kristen are to engage in whenever seen out publicly. They are actors, after all. Right?

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched but felt in the heart.” Helen Keller

PRAISING vs CRITICIZING. Need we say more? The nonstens’ raison d’etre is to criticize Kristen. Whether her clothes, her car, her hair, her jewelry, what she says in magazines or her genuine demeanor. No matter what, they always – ALWAYS – find fault with her. Likely because they’ve not been welcomed with much praise themselves throughout their own lives.

What happy people do you know that actively seek out reasons to say negative things about another person? Especially about a person they don’t know?

Kristen’s red dress on “Cosmpolis” red carpet? According to some, that’s as bad as wearing white to someone else’s wedding. Never mind the fact that BWAN spotted at least two other ladies wearing red to that same red carpet, so we have to suppose they were just as guilty of that same infraction (quick, someone call Anna Wintour and tell her red is cancelled). What of other female stars who’ve worn red to someone else’s premiere? We’re pretty darn sure had that red dress wearer been Reese or Emilie de
Raven, this wouldn’t even be an issue.

Kristen’s mother was seen in a pic with Rob during the “On the Road” after party. And? Because of that, she’s famewhoring? Never mind the fact that Jules Stewart had her own film at Cannes, and went to the premiere in support of her daughter who had starred (to rave reviews, we might add) in the film that night. We won’t disclose what they like to call MamaStew, but suffice it to say it only proves again they actively seek ways to criticize Kristen, even if it is through criticizing her family, friends or other people in her life (except Rob, of course). Of course, when Rob’s parents show up in Lisbon for “Cosmopolis” events, the nonstens find that perfectly acceptable. Go figure. And they never did have anything to say about Lizzie attending the Snow White and the Huntsman premiere. Huh. Isn’t that convenient?

Of course, the only reaction that they could find for Kristen’s behavior in both the “On The Road” and “Cosmopolis” after-party pics was that a) she was drunk; b) she was stoned; c) she was drunk and stoned; d) she’s a clinger famewhore; e) it was all choreographed for Summit(Lionsgate)/Twilight PR; f) all of the above. Of course, on those same nights, Rob was given far more leeway (although they did get a bit snarly that he deigned to show up at the OTR premiere (PR), and then during the afterparty snuggle (there was no kiss, he knew the paps were there and some DID rationalize that he too had imbibed a little too much beer that night).






Ducking once you notice cameras. Someone tell Rob that's the Anti-PR.




And what of “On The Road” itself? Well, nonnies tumbled with glee with each and every poor review, nearly leading cheering sections of “Na na na na, hey hey hey, good-bye” because some critics failed to engage with the rambling disjointed narrative. Of course, they FAILED to look at those same reviewers who gave Kristen high praise for her gusty, animated performance of MaryLou, some calling her “perfect” for the role. All they saw were the bad reviews and immediately dismissed Kristen.

Happy people. People who don’t subject and succumb to criticism do not act like this. Because it truly is 





SELFLESSNESS vs. SELFISHNESS. It’s no real stretch to see that most nonsten motives are selfish in nature. They need Rob to be single, a man whore, and someone who is remotely “available” to them to fulfill their fantasies of him, both romantically and as an actor. His EMOTIONAL attachment to Kristen stands in the way of that and threatens the very foundation upon which their ideology is born. Deep down, the ninnies recognize that Robert would make every sacrifice to be with Kristen, that if push came to shove he would place her above his career and future projects. They don’t want him to succeed and be happy in all aspects of his life as most selfless people would. That if he were with your typical, vapid Hollywood “starlet,” nothing would be more important to him than acting. And that’s what they really want; for him to be theirs, the way THEY want him to be.
They carry specific selfish motives that are fueled by their obsession with the idea that somehow, in some iteration, they are an important part of his life, even if only on the internet. It’s this selfish need to control certain aspects of his life that keeps them clinging to their deluded theories about his own abilities to make decisions for himself.

KINDNESS VS CRUELTY. To quote directly from purposefairy, [Happy People] are kind to themselves and others, and they understand the power of love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance. We’re not saying by any means we’d expect nonstens to be kind to Kristen, or to even suddenly turn around and declare her “the best actress of her generation,” but it’s obvious based upon their own words and actions that real kindness is something that has been or is lacking in their own lives. What happy people do you know that go around saying the kinds of things they do? What happy people do you know that work so hard to besmirch and put down another person, even if she is a celebrity? We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, they are obsessed – NOT WITH ROB – but with Kristen, and the place she holds in his life.





Their refusal to let go of their self-loathing and forgive those in their own lives who have been cruel or unjust manifests in this self-loathing which they direct at Kristen, if for no other reason than she is an easy target.  As one once notoriously tweeted: “I have no sympathy for anyone accept my own children.” That pretty well sums it up in a nutshell.

POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY As noted earlier, this one really seems to be pointing out the obvious. Happy people inherently seek positivity, even when they are facing the greatest of life’s challenges (or what negative people call problems.) They are grateful for what they have and don’t focus on what is lacking in their lives. Negative people allow their negativity to seep into every aspect of their lives, including their work, home and social lives. On the surface, they may experience happy moments; realistically they live in a place where their negative attitudes about themselves seep into everything else, including their attitudes towards others.

We could go on, but the pattern is clear. What looks on the surface to be a simple expression of “I don’t like her” is very obviously a reflection of their deep-seeded hatred of self. Sad, too, as given the right circumstances some of these women could be gracious and wonderful individuals…. Well, maybe that’s going a bit too far, but hey, you never know.

We challenge them, genuinely challenge them, to take one day, just one, and see what life would or could be like if they don’t say something negative about Kristen. Then try two, or three. Or even four (we know that’s likely a stretch). Better yet, take a few minutes and read this  - another great purposefairy article - http://www.purposefairy.com/3308/15-things-you-should-give-up-in-order-to-be-happy/ - and see if letting go of negativity and the need to continually criticize others doesn’t have a positive and meaningful effect on their lives.

Maybe then, they could recognize that love really does prevail over PR.






Monday, May 21, 2012

Onu-rompere il mio cuore


Dear Roberto,


I hope it’s okay that I still call you that, because you are you know, my dear Robert. My heart.
Words just cannot express how sorrowful I am that you are continuing to ignore me after all of this time. I thought that after my last letter to you in February we would be able to reconnect, that you would find time to be with me and we could pick up where we left off.

It has been three years, Robert. Three years of waiting patiently and quietly in the wings, waiting for you to finish your contractual obligations with THAT GIRL, three years of yearning to walk hand-in-hand with you as your loving and supportive girlfriend on the red carpet. THREE years of knowing you were out there just waiting for the opportunity to break from your world and come to me in my beloved Italia. (p.s. I know last time I said four years and I know I was living in L.A...or was it London... but time and location doesn’t matter when one is in love. In my heart, I have loved you forever.)

I have tried, in vain, to contact you, but again my letters and texts and emails go unanswered. Instead, I see you out, in California, at a party for one of her friends at HER home in Malibu, with HER arms wrapped around your shoulders. And a party you flew directly from Europe to attend. How am I to compete with that when I was so near and you couldn’t even bother to drop into Italia to say hello?

Then there are photos of you out – at one of your friends’ concerts – friends I have yet to meet, Roberto. When, when will you introduce me to the Brit Pack? I am one of them, too. Their music as well touches my soul, unlike hers, which is untouchable.

I then had to endure photos of you on the beach, again near HER house, whilst you take lessons in paddle boarding (paddle boarding? What does an English gentleman such as yourself want with paddleboarding. This is obviously a symptom of her ill influence on you).

And this past week, whilst she was in England to promote HER movie, there you are. You are photographed near the castle where the promotion is taking place. You are photographed near her on the way to your birthday party. A party to which I was not invited.

And why is that, Roberto? After all of this time, all of my patience and devotion I have given for you. I have given up so much of my life to dedicate to you and what you said was your love for me. You betrayed that, Roberto. You made my life hell by ignoring me and continuing to be with THAT GIRL – even during those times when the studio said you didn’t have to be. You were still there, with her. I simply do not understand.

And during her promotion, when she spoke of you, and your dog, and her special birthday gifts – that should have been me. I should be the one waking up and “finding” a special necklace you’ve hidden away for me. I should be the one to call “Bear” my “baby.” I should be the one who gets to share special moments with you in Cannes.

I truly thought after friends of mine tipped off that gossip columnist who let our story out to the public that you could finally see the light, and you would once again find your way to my arms. I am sadly disappointed that this is not the case.

So here I am, writing another letter, this time my heart filled with sadness and despair.
I don’t know what to do anymore, Roberto. My heart, it aches for you. It is tender, it is love and I fear that I shall never have that love reciprocated. After three years of tenderness and of longing, this is how I am treated.

I fear maybe that some of the fans of THAT GIRL are right in that you really are a bad boyfriend. But you are NOT a bad boyfriend to HER (if that is well and what you truly are), but instead you are a bad boyfriend to me.

I believe this will be my last letter to you, unless you can change and prove your love to me. My heart, she can no longer take the pain of patience, and of waiting. It has been too long.
I don’t know what I will do except wait and hope one day you will see the light, and you can come to me and we can be reunited once again.

Until then, my heart is yours.

Your….