Of course, a favorite among them is CandyKizzes, she with “inside” knowledge of Summit’s most devious PR schemes, who is besties with the “New Moon” makeup artist who was uncovered as a fraud, she who has photoshopped pics of herself with Rob and called them real. Oh, and she who said she was NOT attending a Marcus Foster show in London, only to be seen and called out by several witnesses who were at the same show.
Somehow, and for some reason, several nonnies cling to Candy's every word as if it were their undisputed truth. And why shouldn't they? With such erudite musings as "go STFU you stupid cunts...go suck on a cock and chooke on it bitch. your dumb," she represents the utmost in knowledge and authority.
You'd think they'd call her out on her BS, but no. She keeps on spinning her horse tails. And what would that latest tale be, you ask?
Well, BWAN is happy to tell you.
Seems like twitter’s favorite fib fabricator has gone and got herself enrolled in “Law School.” And not just any law school, but “Fordam” – the highly-prestigious Jesuit Law School in New York City. That’s right, The Maven of Mendacity is going to be a member of the bar, or so she insinuates (*coughsputterchoke*).
Problem is, this is a bit of a prevarication.
We at BWAN raised an eyebrow at that claim, and being of curious mind, opted to investigate, just to check its veracity.
Let's present some evidence, shall we?
EXHIBIT A: No first-year law classes are being taught at Fordham (with an H, Candy, spell it correctly) this summer, and Candy’s schooling started Monday night, so that presents a problem.
“Well, that doesn’t mean anything” I hear you doubters say. "Pics or it didn't happen."
Pics, you say? Oh, we have pics.
May we present EXHIBIT B: a photo of Candy’s new computer she tweeted Monday night.
The computer is not what caught our eye, however.
You see, our skeptical selves, having great experience being around lawyers, saw a problem with this evidence. This “law book” didn’t quite look like the brand of law book most LAW STUDENTS we know have used. In fact, it looked quite “text booky” (official legal term).
So, being curious-minded and thoroughly analytical as most attorneys should be, and using the book authors' names as our crumb trail, we decided to dig a bit, and what should we find?
Jurors, may we present you with: EXHIBIT C.
And to think all this time we thought Candy was ALREADY a paralegal. Why? Because she's told us that over and over and over again. Another lie, Candy?
Now, the last time we checked, there was a monumental difference between paralegals and attorneys at law (by the way, Fordham doesn't have a paralegal program). While most paralegals we’ve known have been well educated, and by no means do we disparage the work they do (we know some who are VERY highly skilled and know their way around a court room even better than an actual lawyer), we think that saying you are going to “law school” when, in fact, you are not, is what members of the legal profession call perjury.
Most people who go to “law school” end up with an actual Doctor of Jurisprudence, which also requires a bachelor's degree, neither of which Candy has or will have. Heck, we just hope she is able to learn the difference between your/you're & to/too while there (but don't hurt yourself) and maybe even pick up some pointers on legal ethics as well (good luck with that one).
Nice work, Candy. Keep spinning those tales and we'll be here to fish out the truth.
We know some of the words used might confuse you. Please forgive us for putting our multiple degrees to use and actually having a higher education. Therefore, we have provided you with definitions of the more complex vocabulary.
Erudite - characterized by great knowledge; learned or scholarly
Maven - an expert or connoisseur.
Mendacity - untruthfulness; tendency to lie.
Prevarication - to speak falsely or misleadingly; deliberately misstate or create an incorrect impression; lie.
Veracity - habitual observance of truth in speech or statement; truthfulness.
Perjury - the willful giving of false testimony under oath or affirmation, before a competent tribunal, upon a point material to a legal inquiry.
Ethics- a complex of moral precepts held or rules of conduct followed by an individual
BWAN - you are the high priestess of the truth. I worship at the altar of your audacious awesomeness.
ReplyDeleteIf I may add another observation to your list of CK bloopers -- one that, like CK herself, is the perfect combination of vulgarity and stupidity.
Perhaps i's the purist in me, but it bothers me when people don't realize that when using the acronym GTFO, it is redundant and superfluous to follow with the word "outta." CK made this error several times in a row with her oft repeated message to Kristen Stewart when the dog walking pictures appeared, saying "GTFO outta my town, bitch."
Sad to think that this eloquence will never be heard summing up to the jury, isn't it?
All i can say is.....bwhahahahahahaha! Thanks for this most awesome post :)
ReplyDeleteOh this is priceless and much better than Sybil having stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night! Buwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
ReplyDeleteYour efforts are appreciated by MANY!!! Keep up the good work!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you, thank you for this post, for your intelligence and your willingness to call this girl out. Of all of the Nonstens- there is just something about CK's bragging about herself and her continuous bagging on Kristen that really got to me. I had to stop reading her tweets because she turned everyone into a dig at Kristen while her admiration for Rob devolved into sleazy fawning over body parts, and show such a lack a respect for boundaries. I didn't believe the law school claim for one moment- spelling, limited vocab, lack of critical thinking-(suggest 50 or below for the LSAT)- were all clues, but it was the amount of time spent on social media that was the big clue. She may have to cut back on her delusions. Can't wait until she gets to the chapters on Ethics and Professionalism in that Paralegal 101 textbook. Thank you for your investigation. I am so for 1st amendment rights and the protection at the cost of malicious slander- so I usually read and move on, but there has just been something about CrazyKizzes that has made me want to have my say too. Thank you. I feel so much better now. She has been served! Ooh can't wait until she finds out that is a legal action not just pop culture slang.
ReplyDeleteCorrect on the class and the book. Good post! $100 CK won't last through summer school! LOL
ReplyDeleteMight I point out her former twitter buddy @EclipseStunts? She amazingly went from twitter-trolling for johns to getting a job as a stuntwoman on Eclipse and then BD. Evidence you say? CK and her gullible fellow silly nonstens need no evidence to believe anyone who tells them what they want to hear! LOL Then there's CK's model/actress/dance friend TJ Robinson who only exists on twitter. Doh!
Another CK prevarication? She and @ilouvreyou from PattinsonOnline collaberated to give the impression Nick passed them WFE premiere passes. CK tweeted that night that Nick winked at her as he walked by and Rob bumped her as he was leaving. She posted her afterparty spin at Nonsten.com. Which didn't match any other report from fans or media who were present. Double Doh! LOL
Nick probably was twitching at the sight of CK, not winking. And Rob would sooner face a hundred paps than get close enough to CK to bump her. She will never admit it but she got nowhere near Rob that night. She was carefully monitored all evening. Doh!
Another tale. CK backed out of the MetGala saying there was an elevated threat alert for NYC right after Bin Laden was killed. There was NO change in the alert level anywhere in NYC. CK's invite was pulled. Not by Kristen. Not by her team. Not by Summit. I'll give you one more guess. And... Doh! LOL
Wonder when we'll see a photo of CK with JT from the SNL afterparty? I mean a real photo CK. Not manipped! LOL!
Unreal. Keep up the great work. You're my hero!
ReplyDeleteCan't breath......laughing too hard, bwahahahahhaha!
ReplyDeleteWonderful post! As someone who actually worked in the Ethics Department of the State Bar, I applaud your meticulous research in uncovering the truth! I honestly don't know of a law school that has summer classes. Real law students work as interns during the summer, you know, to gain experience.
ReplyDeleteOMG this is an awesome post. Glad I found this (this was linked from Ted's Awful Truth site.) I too follow CrazyKizzes and my observation has always been that the girl is not highly educated and has way too much time to be fiddling with Photoshop. I don't know of any law student (or paralegals for that matter) with that much free time during the day.
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ReplyDeleteBWAN you are my new heroes :)
ReplyDeleteAnd speaking of photoshoping (a favorite pasttime of CK) for a long time I´ve found it extremely interesting that a girl who hates Kristen so much would make so many artworks with her. Do her fellow haters just ignore that part?
I know several people and close friends who graduated from Fordham University which is one of the most competitive and prestigious law schools in the city. She would be an embarrassment to its Jesuit ideals and its core mission. It is tough to gain admission and stay in. I fear that she is taking a non-matriculated law class and calling it "law school".
ReplyDeleteAlas, I hate to admit that at one time before CK was crazy and bought into the evil nonsense way of thinking, I had several "twitter' conversations with her about NYC, where she went to high school and her personal life. She was too quick to offer up information about herself and I think she has forgotten all the lies and stories she has told to keep track. She does not have a BA. She talked about completing it. She explicitly stated she was a receptionist.
She is scary. She is delusional. And I am disheartened that she is a New Yorker. Keep up the great work.
Once again, a fabulous post. *Snickers*
ReplyDeletexo J