Baby We're Amazed by You...

 

HERE’S A POST FOR THE CHEMICALY EMBALANCED…
WHAT WE’VE MISSED IN OUR TIME AWAY WE MAKE UP FOR IN OUR WORDS

Hello, BWAN followers! How have you all been? Surviving the drought?

We know, we know, we’ve been remiss in updating the world on the fascinating intricacies of the nonsten brain matter, but really, for the past several weeks it’s been nothing but the same regurgitated piffle, “HAHAHA Rob’s still in LA,” “I really want SWATH to fail,” “Kristen’s still a boy,” and “BWAHAHAHAHAHA!” Scintillating, we tell ya. Obviously, some grown-up women don’t have very grown-up minds. And yet some of these women are raising children? We pity future generations.

Of course, it’s been coming from the other side, too. “Rob sucks as a boyfriend.” “He’s staying just for the dog.” “It’s obvious he doesn’t like Kristen or his family.” Blah de blah de blah.

Unlike others during this time, we’ve been enjoying the relative quiet that only a drought can bring. In fact, we rather like the idea that our two favorite people are able to spend so much time out of the limelight, working, recording music, spending time with friends, enjoying strolls in the dog park, eating ice cream at their favorite private hang-out, and being able to relax, IN PRIVATE, like they should.
Now that doesn’t mean that we don’t miss them being together. We do. But what it DOES mean is that we are wise enough in our understanding of how relationships work to know that people in committed, mature relationships (as Rob and Kristen are), don’t NEED to be co-dependent clingers to love one another. They don’t NEED to be joined at the hip 24/7 to continue to communicate, support one another’s careers, and be there for one another. And as both Rob and Kristen are “old souls,” they understand this, too, even if it means spending time apart.

And despite the nonnies’ constant scree, we know without a doubt that our two inamorata will be back together at a time of THEIR choosing.

In the meantime, we’ve been enjoying the relative quiet by taking a step back, enjoying a margarita (or eight or nine) and more or less engaging in our real life’s pursuits. We even picked up a copy of a magazine.

And oh what a Wonderful magazine it is. In fact, some would call it, and its cover girl, downright AMAZING.

Haven’t seen it? Take a look! It doesn’t get much better than this.

Of course, nonnies cried foul when they saw the online photos that emerged last week. “It’s photoshopped,” they moaned. “It doesn’t even look like her,” they bemused. “She looks like Lindsay Lohan!” Do what!?

First of all, anyone who doesn’t think ANY magazine cover isn’t photoshopped to the hilt obviously has NO CLUE how the industry works. All cover shots are photoshopped. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. But when you look at the finished print product of Kristen’s W cover, it’s obviously the majority of the changes to her were via makeup and lighting. Sure, there was some smudging done around her hairline, and a few blemishes perhaps removed, but that’s NORMAL, and Kristen looks GORGEOUS!

Secondly, this is W magazine. HIGH FASHION. Most of their cover shoots are set up to convey some kind of fantasy, where the featured cover model is dressed up to fit a specific editorial theme at the direction of the stylist and editor. And if W was going for the modern version of a 60’s sex kitten, then MEEEE-OWW!

Yesterday, as some folks on twitter may know, actor Mike Welch, who plays Mike Newton in the Twilight franchise, took a moment to share his thoughts on the cover. In short, he said Kristen looked AMAZING!

Now, this is someone who knows Kristen, who has worked with Kristen, and who obviously has much respect and admiration for her. But when he wanted to say something nice about a former co-star, and share those thoughts publicly, oh how the spittle did fly. And poor Mike bore the backlash.

Remember that post we did some weeks back about “The List?” Well, let’s just send out a big BWAN welcome to Michael Welch. Poor guy didn’t even know what hit him.

As is the nonnies’ fashion, he was instantly deemed “irrelevant,” “an idiot,” “one of them.” Far be it from him to throw out a very nice compliment about someone he KNOWS. Because it didn’t fit in with the “I hate Kristen” camp, he was automatically deemed Enemy #247.

“I’m sure he’s happy for that paycheck” they rutted. “He’s completely irrelevant,” they whined. “He obviously has no taste.”

What we at BWAN find MOST amusing is the fact that Michael himself SAW what was happening and called the people out on their behavior. He even sent out a nice twitlonger telling the them, in short, to STFU. And we wonder why ROB doesn’t feel the need to come out and confirm a relationship. Can you imagine the reaction to THAT?

You see, Michael “gets” what this fandom is all about. He understands that for the most part, we are a collective group of people who enjoy our shared experience as fans of Twilight, Rob and Kristen (and the other actors as well). As someone who has been to Twi conventions, and has interacted with thousands if not tens of thousands of fans, he called the fandom “overwhelmingly positive.” He also gets that there is a very ugly side to this, one that’s steeped in intense, and some would say, obsessive, hatred over a TWENTY-ONE YEAR OLD girl. He experienced that first hand yesterday, but we’re going to guess that wasn’t his first taste of it.

Now, some will cry foul and say there is just as much hate directed towards Nikki (certainly from the Krisibian camp there is), and Ashley (calling all Demi Lovato fans), but really, the bulk of the vitriol is directed at Kristen. And why? We’ll give you a three-letter hint: R-O-B.

Ninnies claim they want to see Rob without Kristen. That they are separate people. Okay. Fair enough. Especially for Rob’s non-TWI films. But that being the case, then why, with no impetus but that of their own making, do they continue to seek out information about Kristen and read up on her movies and independent, non-film projects? Why, without any valid reason, do they continue to talk about her DAILY, ingraining her more and more in their own minds? They complain she is being shoved down their throats with great regularity, but if that’s the case, then why do they seek out information about her? And continue to comment about things? Shouldn’t a full-on “Kristen purge” also include ceasing to discuss her altogether? Ya know, the old “out of sight, out of mind” scenario? Surely, even the most small-minded among them (and let’s face it, they are all small-minded), can manage that. Because that makes all the sense in the world, right? Not in the world of NON-sense, apparently. And to think they call us [sic] “chemicaly embalanced.”

So, what can we do? Sit back, have a real good laugh, enjoy another margarita or two, and continue to toast to both Rob and Kristen’s many successes, both now and those to come. Cheers!

P.S. For those worried that BWAN will be going away simply because a certain site is closing its NINNIECOM doors? Never fear. We’ll always be here to call out the ninnies’ BS. Have a nice day, nitwits!