Chapter 7: The Anti-PR

Oh, ninnies. What would we do without their expertise on all things "PR?"

One notion they're particularly fond of bandying about – again and again and again ad nauseum -  is that whenever Rob and Kristen leave an establishment where  they’ve been enjoying private time together, they almost always take separate doors to exit.

This was recently evidenced at least two times during Rob's recent sojourn in London. The first instance was when Rob was spied leaving a pub carrying Kristen's backpack (Kristen was nowhere in sight). 

Say what you want but no dude we know would put blue silk ribbons on "his" backpack.

The other instance occurred when Rob was seen walking out of a restaurant with his London-based agent. Kristen was seen leaving the same restaurant, but took off from a different exit.

The graphic below (not sure if we should be amused or frightened by whoever did that) proves our point:

Now, ninnies would have you believe that THE FACT that Robert and Kristen are never seen leaving an establishment together is PROOF SOLID that they are NOT TOGETHER, that their relationship is ONLY FOR PR.

"How romantic that the man who is supposedly your boyfriend makes you leave out the back door."

"BWAHAHAHA, they are never together when they leave a restaurant."

If they are getting paid by Summit to be in a PR relationship, we'd ask for our money back.

“I love you from ………………………………………….waaaaay over here.”

“Such a loving boyfriend who doesn’t hold the cab door open and let her go first.”

Even the few instances when Rob and Kristen ARE spotted together during their private moments, the Orc-borns squawk and screech about how Rob and Kristen must hate being in each other’s company because they never smile for the cameras, nor touch in any way.

Oh, yes. Misery aplenty.

"Look at how miserable they are. Rob never smiles when he's around her. What a bitch."

“It’s so easy to see how they hate each other. God, I can’t wait for this Twi shit to be over. He can’t wait to get out of that contract.”

Etc. Etc. Etc. ad nauseum

Here is where ninnie-logic reeks of desperation.

You see, it doesn’t follow any normal Public Relations strategy that we know of (even by Hollywood standards) for ANY two people to act in the manner that Rob and Kristen do if they are in a PR relationship. In fact, it makes no sense at all.

Supposing they ARE under the thumb of a BIG BAD CONTRACTUAL AGREEMENT as so many ninnies claim, then why would they work so hard NOT TO BE SEEN TOGETHER? Wouldn't it make MORE SENSE for PR PURPOSES if they were seen happily skipping out the front door of The Ivy, hand-in-hand, smiling at the throngs of assaulting paparazzi who lie in wait to ambush them?

Yea....because that worked out so well...

What Rob and Kristen do is, by and large, what we’d call the anti-PR.
In fact, based upon their behavior (separate exits, sunglasses always on, not smiling for the camera), one could offer more solid evidence that they are NOT, in fact, together, if even for PR purposes. But let’s not get off track here. In other words...

There are very good reasons for Rob and Kristen taking separate exits and very rarely smiling when cameras are pointed their way, and it has NOTHING TO DO with the above suppositions.

You see, in the Woods of Holly, where a tabloid's daily takings rest upon its ability to offer the clamoring public the most revealing photos possible of a celeb's PRIVATE life, paparazzi are waiting around every turn to charge their quarry.

The reward? Money. And lots of it.

Most paps are independent operators, and go after their celebrity targets like a cheetah to an antelope. Why? Because getting a single shot of a major male celeb in flagrante with someone other than his movie-star wife, or catching a Disney starlet’s bare crotch as she’s exiting a car, or having a single frame where a once-famous pop singer pulls out an umbrella and goes batshit crazy in a gas station parking lot BRINGS THEM MONEY.

The better the shot? The more the moolah.

It’s a simple economic concept. When the demand is high, but the supply is low, the more valuable that single shot will be. And when two stars are as in demand as Robert and Kristen are, they are not going to give anything away, nor play into the paps’ hands.

We at BWAN are lucky enough to have a few acquaintances in the entertainment industry (and we're not talking coffee-schlepping studio interns or fake make-up artists.) No, the people we know tend to have letters of credential behind their names and pull down salaries that would make fanfic Bella run screaming into her hive of insecurity.

And what do they tell us? Here’s a recap.

Most paparazzi work to get a pic (or few hundred), which they shop around to various media sources and tabloids to see who will offer them the biggest payday. In most instances, the pap will send a lo-rez, watermarked copy of the image to prospective buyers. If a buyer is interested, a price for the photo will be negotiated.

Negotiating factors include: Who is the celebrity? Is the photo verifiable? What is the celebrity doing? How high is the quality of the photo? What is the availability of similar photographs from other paparazzi? (In other words, does the competition have something better?)

This last item is what makes any photos of Robert and Kristen so valuable, especially if they are photos of non-industry events, like pub outings and/or PDA ("The real money, though, would be in the smooch.“That’s the dream shot,” Navarre said. “Rob and Kristen kissing in public. If you get a nice, clean shot. That’d be a huge scoop.” Already, she’s thinking dollar signs. “$150,000,” she says, and you can tell she’s smiling.")

You see, the paps tend to think of the celebs as trained monkeys (and treat them far worse). They ambush, they assault, they cajole in very frightening ways, doing any and everything within their power to get a reaction shot. Why? Because the more reaction they can get out of the celeb – the more money they can make from the shot.

Need an example? Consider this.

Remember the first photo that started raising eyebrows about Brad and Angelina’s relationship? The one where they were caught playing on a remote beach with Maddox? And what was the going rate for that single shot? Five hundred thousand dollars. That’s about ten years’ salary for your average middle-class Joe, but another day in the park for the crafty pap who will go to any means necessary bring home a six-figure paycheck.

That was in 2006.

Throw in five years’ inflation, plus the speed-to-market factor that most tabs have to live by to survive in this social media age, and you’re possibly looking at a Rob-Kristen PDA asking price of close to
$200,000. How’s that for a bounty on one’s head?

Different celebs have different ways of handling this side of fame. Some take it in stride and just go with it. 

Others push themselves out there and make the most of every opportunity to be in front of the camera. 

Still, others choose not to discuss private matters at all.

Rob and Kristen most definitely fall into the “not giving an inch” side of the spectrum. They know where their paychecks come from. Why do they want to give the paps any part of that?

The simple answer? They don’t.


Just for a quick moment, let's address the never looking happy thing. Just a few months ago, Mr. Pattinson himself said that he "dreams of beating the shit out of paparazzi". Why, oh why would you ever base pics of him being taken by parasites he openly despises (because they are INVADING HIS PRIVACY) on his TRUE feelings? 


They know the game these guys are playing and they refuse to be a part of it, choosing their privacy over everything else, because that’s what matters to them. Just like we said, the anti-PR.


So when you see them leaving a club or pub separately, or see Rob carrying Kristen’s backpack because she snuck out another door, just remember, wherever they were, they were in there TOGETHER.

Consider it their big F-U to the paparazzi (and a certain segment of the fandom). Etc. Etc. Etc. ad infinitum