Luck Be a Lady...

Disclaimer: This was originally written prior to today’s TF1 interview. You know, the one where Rob said that he was in London last week. Pardon us if we ramble a bit more than usual. 

Oh ninnies, ninnies, ninnies. What would we do without the screeching ninnies as our form of amusement? For some reason, they are under the clouded impression (aren’t all of their impressions a bit clouded?) that they “won” something this weekend during the Paris “Breaking Dawn” promo tour.

Won what, exactly? The Publisher’s Clearinghouse Prize? An appearance on the game show “Dumb Bitches?” A brick of cheese? (Cheese does make one constipated and full of shit, you know).

We guess we didn’t realize that not having Kristen at a promotional event meant there was some kind of contest going on. It wasn’t a contest when Kristen went to Australia and parts of South America with Taylor and NOT Rob, so why would THIS be any different?

Ohhh! Because Rob put his hand around Ashley during a photo call? Because Rob and Ashley whispered to one another during a fan event? Because Ashley smiled up at Rob while on the carpet?

We’re not sure how that makes a difference. Rob has done those things COUNTLESS times with Kristen, both on and OFF the red carpet. Somehow, ninnies fail to see this each and every time.

They want to take some furtive glance or whispered moment between Rob and Ashley and turn it into something it’s not. One single whisper can compare and compete with the countless whispered moments between Rob and Kristen at how many events, and inside how many papped car windows, and on how many airport tarmacs?

And you really want to do a side-by-side comparison?

We’ll give you side-by-side.

Call us when Rob looks at Ashley like this.

Come back when Rob holds Ashley this close during parties.

.

Do Rob and Ashley’s whispered moments involve this amount of laughter, or nuzzling?

Does Rob hold Ashley’s hand on the airport tarmac, or in a car?

Does Rob enter the stage for a fan event and look like he just got caught with his hand in Ashley’s cookie jar? 

No, no and no.

DID ROB SAY HE WAS IN LONDON LAST WEEK? YES!

Rob does that kind of thing for his family, which includes Kristen, the girl to whom he is “my English boyfriend.” That’s English, as in from ENGLAND, where LONDON is located.

He does all of these things to such an extent that during the Paris fan event, one person even told him “Kristen is so lucky.”

And Rob’s response? A shy, but sweet smile.

Now, some ninnies would have you believe that Kristen isn’t such a lucky girl. In fact, they downright question this fan’s definition of lucky.

Why, may you ask? Because they see Rob as someone other than the doting, committed boyfriend that he is.

Some people, ninnies especially, see the fact that he hasn’t visited Kristen on the SWATH set (*cough*) as PROOF that they are not together. Per his own admission, Rob was IN LONDON last week. And just when did the #SWATH directors put a clam-down on all social media from the set? Oh. Last week. How convenient. “It’s so obvious.”

On and on the ninnies go about how he hasn’t visited Kristen on set (see above), or hasn’t whisked her away for a romantic weekend (she’s been working), or hasn’t been spied out of the country. Cue TF1 interview soundbite:  ”I was just in London last week.”  Does he not have other pulls in England, such as his immediate family and an entire pack of friends? If so, would he not be there for them, too? Perhaps, just perhaps, his CURRENT obligations as an actor working hard to step beyond “Twilight” makes him feel he needs to stay in L.A., you know, read scripts, take meetings, write, and set up a home for himself (and perhaps his significant other, too). In other words, be the man that he is growing up to be by taking responsibility for his own life.

And he is learning, per his own admission, that L.A. is growing on him, that he can, in secluded hills and small out-of-the way places, find some semblance of privacy away from crowded pubs and paparazzi-infested streets. Perhaps someone - who happens to have grown up in L.A. - is teaching him that he can enjoy a quiet, private life in the heart of Hollywood.

And as for time and distance? That doesn’t matter if you are committed to someone.  


Many vocations require that one partner in a committed relationship be gone for long stretches of time – deep water fishing, long-distance trucking, international business or relations, and perhaps most importantly, the military. Long times and distances apart in no way means the commitment is not there.

In today’s age of instant communications, many couples weather the distance and time exceedingly well, especially when each person in that relationship knows that they each must make sacrifices in order to reap the rewards at a later time and date.

So, is it really that far-fetched that Rob would stay home and keep the home fires burning, take care of his dog, work on his own career, even if it means he has to let Kristen go off to his own home country to film?  Of course not. No more than it is far-fetched that Rob is capable of sneaking in and out of airports without being detected. If he wills it so, it CAN happen. BTW, HE WAS IN LONDON LAST WEEK.

One friend of BWAN told us that while she and her husband were dating, she was living on the East Coast while he was on the West. They dated for three years, only seeing each other every few months before settling down to marry; and this well before the days of IM and skype. Time and distance mean little when the heart knows what it wants, and Rob’s heart has shown us time and time again that it wants Kristen.

Proximity does not guarantee a good relationship. It never has, and never will. But such common sense is continually lost on the ninnies, who don’t want to see the truth even though it’s smacked them in the face at least 347,000 times by now.

How else is Kristen lucky? Well, according to ninnies, Rob only takes her on group outings, not real dates. Haven’t there been sightings of just the two of them in Soho Club, at random restaurants in the LA area, while out clothes shopping at vintage stores, enjoying sushi dinners in New York, or taking long weekends as California resort hotels? And what about the countless nights in, or nights secreted off to a private dining room somewhere outside the prying eyes of the paps, or any twitter hounds? Are you saying it’s not possible? L.A. restaurants and clubs know all too well how to cater to the privacy needs of their clientele, and we’re certain Rob and Kristen are very well-versed in navigating just that system.

And what young couples don’t like to hang with other friends, who are also young couples?

In Europe, and England especially (Rob is ENGLISH, you know), it is quite common for people to go out in groups. There is a vast cultural difference between the US, where people “date,” and in other countries, where group outings are more the norm. Why wouldn’t Rob want to surround himself with the people that mean the most to him – ALL of them, including Kristen, with whom he has shared so many of his ENGLISH traditions, including trips to Isle of Wight for the holiday? Summit free, of course.

But again, this doesn’t help the ninnies in their attempts at winning. At all.

Neither does the fact that by having Ashley at the promo event, Summit is not able to “sell” the PR-relationship between Rob and Kristen. Oops. Guess they didn’t get that into the contract.

Of course, the ninnies’ favorite rationale as to why Kristen is such a lucky girl comes from one of Rob’s own quotes, you know, the one from the April, 2011 Vanity Fair where he said his dog Bear was his soul mate?

Oops. Haven’t we seen that somewhere before?

http://www.digitalspy.com/celebrity/news/a332009/ryan-gosling-my-dog-is-my-soulmate.html

Rob is notorious for throwing out strange and often misleading utterances under pressure, especially in print interviews.

Unlike Kristen, who is often censured for her raw honesty in print interviews, Rob tends to take a more absurdist approach, and is more adored for it, even if what he is talking about comes of as inane ramblings to casual readers (who can forget “I’m allergic to vaginas.”)

So by Rob declaring that Bear is his soul mate in no way means that he hasn’t found a deep and meaningful romantic relationship with another human, namely Kristen. Nor does it mean that Kristen is any less lucky for having him in her life.

In fact, to most reasoned people, we’d think that having a career-supporting, friend-sharing, and dog-loving man as your significant other would make you very lucky, indeed.  Especially if he visited you in London last week.

Keep trying, ninnies. Your “winning” isn’t working.

Oh, and Vanessa. We’re still waiting on that “English” lesson.

Affectionately,  The Flaming Cunts.