Because Sometimes that Horse isn't Dead Yet...

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said - Happy is the hearing man; unhappy the speaking man.


We here at BWAN can see the merits in that train of thought. After all, we certainly do a lot more listening than we do speaking (or blogging, as it were). 


We've already touched on this subject once in our post and numerous times on our twitter, but much like many things in this fandom...some people thought it wasn't enough. We don't see much fairness in other people telling us who we should be blogging about but we digress. 


We've been collectively and individually accused of being Nonberts, Nonstens (not sure how that makes ANY sense to anyone) and a whole slew of other things that are too unimaginative to mention.


Somewhere along the way, Rob gained a small contingent of unhappy followers. Now, we wouldn't call them anything other than a nuisance purely based on their lack of structure and lack of numbers.


We don't ever really have anything to say to them basically because they have nothing of substance for us to work with. They make emotionally based statements about how Rob is a cheater (HO-KAY), Rob isn't good enough (oh, and how would you know?) or essentially wanting him to fail in anything he does (we're oh so certain that Kristen doesn't appreciate her so called "fans" trashing someone she cares about nor disrespecting her judgment and choices). 

However, how many posts can we write about those kinds of statements? What more can we say that everyone doesn't already know? It's not like they have started a nonbert website to make up outlandish conspiracy theories that can be countered with facts and disproved. 

All we can say is that these "fans" are sad individuals who have nothing better to do than sit on their asses and make judgements about a situation and two people that they don't know personally.  

And as we've said to the ninnies before, would these people say these things to Kristen and Robert's face? We certainly don't think they would and IF they did we're positive the response they would receive would make them crawl back into whatever hole of bitterness they live in with shame.   

Because you just don't get it...

It has been brought to our attention that some have misconstrued/twisted our words in ways that make us out to be Rob-Haters. 
We never said that fan support of an actor and his/her film is bad. It's fan support that determines their longevity in their career. We were merely pointing out that it IS wrong when people use anonymizers and proxy servers to fake an IP address. MTV made their voting so it SHOULD be one vote per person/computer. That way, it reflects a somewhat  true account of fan anticipation. When people (and we mean ninnies) cheat and thus over inflating the outcome, it does more harm than good. We're not just talking about one poll here. They aren't manipulating just one thing. So when the time comes and Cosmopolis debuts, what happens when the BO doesn't reflect all of those polls (ie fan anticipation)? Then people start to blame Rob (Remember Me is a PERFECT example of this happening). 
Is it JUST a poll? Yes. But they add up and it factors into a bigger issue than that. 
We don't want people to place Robert (or Kristen) in an unattainable role. SWATH is a completely different story (as is many other movies this year) because it does not rely almost totally on one actor/actress. SWATH, THG, TDK draw several different fanbases. Cosmopolis rests a LOT on Rob and to over inflate those expectations will only do more harm than good. If you can't see that then maybe you need to reexamine your "knowledge" of how the business works. 
Oh, and for the record : If we ever heard of Kristen fans cheating in the same manner, we would absolutely call them to the carpet.    

Narcissistic Personalities to the Rescue...

What’s that? Do you see it? In the air? Flying up from the very depths of Orcland to SAVE THE DAY – and Rob’s career. 

Why, it’s SUPERNINNY!!!!

Yes, fandom, we have our own brand of superhero, here to rescue Rob and his career from ever being stuck in Twi-drudgery, and stuck with Kristen, of course. *winkwink*

You see, ladies and gentlemen (and we know there are at least a few gentlemen who do read this blog), the ninnies have taken it upon themselves to be Rob’s own personal saviors by voting (and voting), and voting, oh, and voting, and voting again, and voting some more, and voting in the morning, at lunch, and even afterhours, in the MTV “Movie Brawl.” Did we mention they are voting? Yes, our faithful readers, these everyday superheroes are expending great amounts of energy, tanked up on copious amounts of Mountain Dew (not Diet), and Venti Quad Shot Double Mocha Lattes – with whip, thank you very much – in order to push Rob and Cosmopolis into victory.

Ta da daaaaaaaaah! (Cue Super Hero music).

THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Too bad at the end of the day it will mean squat.

WHAAAAAAA? Say it ain’t so, BWAN!

You see, this kind of polling really only serves one purpose, which is to generate web hits.
And in reality, it is only attractive to people who feel the need to be validated; that by sitting all day, every day (and we do mean all day, every day), clicking on the Cosmopolis button while watching those voting percentages go up and up and up, gives them the false idea that what they say – and think – matters to the world at large, and more importantly, to Rob.

Here’s something more than a hint: IT DOESN’T.

Now, don’t get us wrong, we’re sure that Rob will be “thrilled”(?) to know that his fans have voted Cosmopolis up the chain against any of these other movies. But let’s face it. We here at BWAN are realists, and we recognize that at the end of the day, and the end of the year, when it comes to the final tally, we’re pretty certain that Dark Knight Rises, The Hunger Games, Breaking Dawn Part 2 and yes, even Snow White and the Huntsman will win where it really matters – AT THE BOX OFFICE.

This has nothing to do with Rob. It does, however, have EVERYTHING to do with reality, and Cronenberg’s record bears this out.

While Cronenberg is a highly-talented director, his fan base remains largely cultish. With the exception of The Fly, none of his films have achieved wide Box Office success (we are NOT saying they weren’t profitable), even though they have been highly praised by critics, and have fared well at awards ceremonies. Such are the pitfalls of indie films (as the ninnies like to remind people time and time and time again when bringing up Kristen’s “failed” acting career. But in those situations, of course, they blame Kristen, and not the independent films themselves). Another ninnie failure.

This made us LOL

It is easy to sit at one’s desk, or on one’s couch, or in one’s bed, and click on a mouse button until you need to file a Worker’s Compensation claim, or call the ER doctor for a sudden case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, but we have to wonder, will the ninnies go see Cosmopolis as many times as they voted for it? They made fun of certain Twi fans who went and saw Breaking Dawn, Part 1 multiple times (in one tweet we saw someone had gone more than 20 times). And we’re not judging, we’re just wondering if the ninnies are really so invested that they are ready, quite literally, to put their money where their fingers are. If they will support it at the Box Office as much as they seem to be trying to support it on a meaningless poll.

See? Reality.

A deadly little word, really, and a world the ninnies can’t conceptualize because their ideas are so rooted in the fantasy that if they do this “for Rob,” that it will somehow validate him even more and endear THEM to HIM. As if he will miraculously appear on their front doorsteps bearing gifts of Heineken and pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream as a personal “thank you” to each and every one of them. Or maybe send them more “super-seekrit” messages the next time he does a promotional tour. Sorry, folks, ain’t gonna happen.

But let’s get back to polls. We here at BWAN are, shall we say, neutral about polls of this nature. They are MEANINGLESS, and hold no bearing on any actor’s career. Really. All they are is online popularity contests which are often rigged by fans (****GASP****), who go to great extremes (NOOOO!!!), even cheating (US, WHY NEVURRRR!), to make their votes count.

And the poor ninnies fell for this hook, line and sinker. How so? Not only have they been voting all day, every day (see paragraph 3, above), they’ve cheated the system to do so.

Web polls in particular serve one thing and one thing only – to generate web hits. As much as the ninnies feel that Ted Casablanca and other gossip mongers (well, the ones they don’t like, that is) use “Robsten” and stories about Rob and Kristen to generate web hits, they are falling prey to the same kind of media scheming, only this time using movies as a ploy.

MTV knows how popular Rob is. They know how rabid the Twilight (yes, the Twilight) and the Rob fan bases are. They used that to push a poll so they could generate more web hits. And do you know what they’ll do with that data? They’ll take it straight to their advertizing departments and say “GO FORTH, SELL MORE, RAISE OUR RATES!!! Did you see how many votes we got from the crazies?”

So see, ninnies? The only REAL impact you are having here is on MTV’s bottom line. Real effective, don’t you think?

Now, we’re not here to put down the hopes of the other Rob fans (yes, @edassx we ARE talking to you). We are by no means disparaging those individuals who feel the need to go on and throw in a vote here and there for the sake of Rob and Cosmopolis. That is support.

But the false campaigning led by the ninnies on behalf of “Rob,” and the manipulating of the system by using proxy servers and other means to get past the IP address voting limitation blocks set by MTV bears that out. Why, the ninnies have even been actively recruiting people from other fandoms to vote for Rob. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And the ninnies have proven themselves as desperate as they can get.

And it’s not just all about Rob, but Kristen, as well.

You see, many are motivated as much by their adulation of Rob as they are by their dislike of Kristen.
How do we know this? The proof is in the polling.

In Round 1 of the MTV poll, they put on their Cedric Diggory quidditch Jerseys and clamored over to the Harry Potter fandom to vote for Woman in Black OVER Snow White and the Huntsman. Why? So they could get “that girl” out of the way. In their world, the more they can push “her” and “Twi” out of his life, the better it will be for HIS career. Of course, they are ONLY looking out for Rob’s best interests, being the super-hero fans that they are, of course.

We’re frankly surprised that they didn’t get all Darth Maul on us and push Phantom Menace over Breaking Dawn, Part 2, but perhaps the greater Twilight fandom persevered just this once.

In Round 2, the campaign began in earnest, when Cosmopolis, which had beaten Bel Ami in its first round (really, in this case that’s like choosing between Nutella with Strawberries and Nutella with a banana), faced Breaking Dawn, Part 2. Oops.

You see, this is where the “real” Rob fans donned their superhero cloaks and chanted “down with Twilight,” “down with that girl!” “Real Rob fans vote for Cosmopolis!” “Real Rob fans want to see his future, not see him chained to his past.” “Vote for anything that doesn’t have Kristen in it.”

Funny, we always thought “REAL ROB FANS” would be fans who support all of his work, regardless who his co-stars are, AND in spite of the fact that if it were NOT for Twilight, we likely wouldn’t even have a Rob IN Cosmopolis. But alas, we digress.

So, the delusions set in – and as the desperation grew, so did the ninnies’ attempts to outwit the system. Cue the aforementioned proxy servers. See?

In Round 3, the semi-finals, after rhapsodizing victorious in their win over Breaking Dawn, Part 2, ninnies took to the proxy servers again, working to recruit fans of other fan bases to see Cosmopolis topple Metropolis itself in Dark Knight Returns, and by nearly a 2-to-1 margin. What does this show? That either the Batman fanboys really don’t care (we’re certainly sure they’re not the ninnies’ color of desperate), or that the ninnies have WAAAAAAY too much time on their hands. In a normal year, and with a “normal” fanbase, we’d say this race would have been much closer.

So, here we are in the final round, with results, as of this writing at a near neck and neck. Cosmopolis stands at 49.17% and The Hunger Games stands at 50.83%. And we’re willing to bet, proxy servers be damned, that Cosmopolis continues to eek up in the percentages. Why?

Because, the NINNIES ARE HERE TO SAVE THE DAY.

In the end, sadly, it will garner them nothing.

The ONLY thing they do is give the voters a false sense of power if their “choice” happens to win. Rob will not win an Oscar because ninnies pushed a button (or two, or three, or 924). Rob will not be lauded by critics for his work because nonstens took it upon themselves to vote “that girl” out of his career.

So, like countless victories before it, after the dust is settled, and the fizz is long gone from the Boone’s Farm Sparkling Wine bottles, this victory will be short-lived and empty. But they’ll trudge on, basking in the glow of whatever it is they really think they accomplished, trying to force Rob’s career forward rather than letting it happen organically as it should.

So, keep voting away. At least you’ll have some false satisfaction in that, even if reality is much, much different.

Oh. P.S. Did BWAN vote, you may ask? Well, to be perfectly honest, some of us did and some of us didn’t. Some will call us bad “fans” for not voting and others will lump us into some twisted ninnie version of a sheep infested shipperdom. Sheep. Ships. Except we see no Shepard over here. Nor do we see anyone wearing a captains hat. Unless we look to the ninnies. They have (lying) Shepard's aplenty. And a very hostile Captain.

Love,

The Flaming Cunts

Oh So Scent-sational!

We hope you are enjoying a fabulous 2012 so far. We know we certainly are, especially now with the news that Kristen is going to be the face of a new Balenciaga fragrance that will launch in Fall of 2012.

Of course, any great news for Kristen only means one thing, right? The ninnies are at it again. That’s right! Poor ninnies just can’t stand to see Kristen succeed. It’s as if they want her to disappear into obscurity and not be heard from again. Who else besides a select number of Harry Potter fans would spend so much time on the MTV Movie website voting for “The Woman in Black” over “Snow White and the Huntsman” as the most-anticipated Summer movie of 2012?

The same women, calling themselves Rob’s “real” fans, who are voting (and we mean over and over and over again) for Cosmopolis over Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 2 in the same poll. Why? For the sole purpose of eradicating Kristen from their lives. We would think that any “real” fan would be supportive of ALL of Rob’s work – but that sense of logic doesn’t fly in ninniland, where they are obsessed more with Kristen and tearing her down than they are with their supposed adoration of Rob himself. Of course, Bel Ami and Cosmopolis are both laden with sex, so any film that gives them even a glimpse into what they are missing in their own lives (and what Kristen gets to experience on a regular basis), even if they objectify Rob in the process, is okay by their book.

So, let’s go back to Kristen and Balenciaga, shall we?

Personally, we think this is a fantastic choice for her. Why? Because Balenciaga imbues all that is “right” with forward-thinking fashion today. It is a design house known for clean, linear shapes trimmed with soft femininity, a combination of elegance and edge that fits Kristen perfectly, or maybe she fits it perfectly.

In describing why Stewart was their selection for the face of the new fragrance, Balenciaga creative director Nicolas Ghesquière noted that “Kristen embodies the modernity of the new Balenciaga fragrance with her unique sensibility and intelligence.”

In our book (and in our marketing and public relations experience), this is perfect branding.
Poor ninnies still don’t get it, however. (Do they ever?)

They decry Kristen by calling her a fame whore and a sell-out. How is lending your likeness for the promotion of an internationally-renown, high-end fashion house considered being a fame whore? Last we checked, fame whores were the ones who star in their own reality series about their supposed “exploits,” selling their marriages and divorces to People Magazine, or release love songs co-written with their new husbands on the day of the premiere of the movie in which they acted. Fame whores are NOT people who avoid the press in an effort to maintain some kind of sanity and balance in their lives.
As for being a sell-out? This isn’t Bath and Body Works here. She’s not promoting “Twilight Meadow” with Bella all over the packaging, or creating her own branded fragrance “Kristen,” à la Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears or Justin Bieber.

Instead, Kristen is following in the footsteps of other internationally-acclaimed actresses (Oscar winners among them) who have been fortunate enough to be selected to represent some of the top fashion houses in the world.

We don’t know about the ninnies, but we’d say that Kristen is keeping awfully good company considering the list of beautiful and dynamic women above. To say that she is a sell-out, even as an independent “spirit,” is to say that each and every one of the fashion icons listed above is a sell-out as well.

Even the ninny-adored Emma Watson is the new face for international cosmetics giant Lancôme; a branding mismatch in our opinion. No offense to Emma, we just feel she would have been better served by a younger, fresher line like Burberrys, or something a bit more off-chart, like Stila. Lancôme is a bit, well, middle aged.

The fact that Kristen is only the second face to represent a Balenciaga fragrance line (the first being French musician and actress Charlotte Gainsbourg) speaks volumes about the INDUSTRY’S faith in Kristen as a brand ambassador.

Ninnies seem under the impression, however, that Kristen’s selecting to align herself with a brand so internationally known reeks of hypocrisy, given the fact Kristen has for many years clung fervently to her privacy.

Do those other actresses above not also value their private lives? Do they not also seclude themselves from the public as much as possible, and try to embrace as much “normalcy” as they can, given the very public nature of their chosen vocation?

Why is Kristen any different from these? Why is she put down and lambasted for her actions, while the others are not? Because she is different? Because she doesn’t fit into their pre-determined (and grossly shallow) idea of what a “Hollywood fakester” is supposed to be. She is a real person, with real dreams and a real career. And unlike ninnies who seem perpetually stuck on Bitter Pill Mountain, Kristen is demonstrating growth and change by taking the Balenciaga job. She is not just growing as an individual, but is embracing her womanhood in the process.

When she was still a teenager, it was very likely she would have eschewed this offer or any similar to it. The fact that she is learning to embrace change and grow as a person shows that she is becoming more comfortable in her own skin. This is an attribute to be applauded, not stultified.

What ninnies fail to understand is that there is a fundamental difference between taking an offer such as the Balenciaga deal, and farming yourself out for a cheap, more pedestrian brand found only in your corner pharmacy.

They don’t understand that Balenciaga approached HER, after what we can assure was very diligent selection process. There are potentially millions of dollars at stake with these kinds of branding campaigns, and decisions are not taken lightly. Brands thoroughly vet possible candidates and conduct scrupulous marketing research to ensure that their investment will reap the anticipated return.

In the fashion industry, the selection is part art, part science. High fashion demands a face for the brand which not only fits what they represent in their own design aesthetic and personality, but also appeals to the demographic to which they are marketing. Most companies want to make sure that the “fit” is a good one, and will ensure a mutually-beneficial relationship. While it is about money, it’s just as much about image and the ability to convey a strong brand message. And not just anyone can sell the Balenciaga brand.

So, sit back, enjoy life and embrace the scent-sational future ahead.