Fans on all sides of the equation are using the lack of direct confirmation as vehicle with which to accuse Robert and Kristen (namely Robert) of a multitude of sins.
Ninnies use it as absolute PROOF that Robert and Kristen are not together. (We’re not going to go into the multiple and ridiculous ways they are wrong about “The Insider” video from Monday night). They ignore every piece of evidence set before them, refusing to accept anything but word from Rob himself. Not that it would make a difference. The ongoing hatred toward Kristen would continue regardless whether Rob were to remain quiet, or smack it all up and make some grand gesture with a much-anticipated kiss during the next MTV Movie Awards (not gonna happen, folks).
Krisbians, on the other hand, use it as a means to vilify Rob and prove that he is not worthy of Kristen because he has not declared himself publicly. Some Kristen supporters even go so far as to say that the hatred riled up by the nonnies would finally be put to an end if Rob were to confirm things, and that this makes him a bad boyfriend (we do have to give them half a point for acknowledging the fact that he IS the boyfriend). These fans also believe he should come out and directly chastise the Nonstens for the way they act towards Kristen and the malicious things they say about her.
What neither side wishes to acknowledge is that Robert and Kristen are adults, capable of making their own decisions about their private lives. That the two have chosen to keep things quiet is a bone of contention. These extremist fans believe that Robert and Kristen owe them an explanation. They push for answers as if it is their right to have one. (“Whyyyy don’t they just say it,” they cry. “He MUST be embarrassed by her, otherwise he’d admit it.”) And when small nuggets are dropped (“my boyfriend is English”), some automatically jump on their soap boxes, calling Kristen a famewhore and accusing both of playing a manipulative game with the media and fans (the fact that both have acknowledged the “game” aspect of it doesn’t help things.)
They don’t trust that Robert and Kristen know what is best for themselves and each other (you really think they’ve not discussed it?), and stand firmly rooted in the belief that they should be privy to something Rob and Kristen time and again have proclaimed to be a private matter. To these fans, it doesn’t matter what Robert and Kristen want, which is simply to keep what is theirs, theirs.
Instead of enjoying that which Robert and Kristen do choose to give, they see a confirmation as a panacea to all of their woes, fandom or no.
If ninnies get their answer, will they go quietly and find another actor to crush on? No. If Krisbians get their answer and have Rob call out the nonstens for their hatred towards Kristen, will those nonstens leave ship, or even those Krisbians for that matter? No again. A few people may jump off the fanwagon, but in general, these people’s behaviors won’t change a lick.
It’s been pretty well documented that the behaviors exhibited, particularly by the nonstens, constitute a psychological addiction. Nothing else can explain their excessive need to decry any and everything Kristen says, does, wears, eats, or acts in as wrong. And having Rob tell these fans to fuck off isn’t going to help. It’s going to hurt - both of them.
What world would we be living in if Rob, or Kristen, for that matter, were to make personal decisions based upon the desire of their fans? We don’t own them, nor control them. The best fans are admirers from afar, and don’t make any attempt to intervene with their professional or personal lives.
Social media, including Twitter, has changed the game completely. Now large companies, including talent agencies, are quick to bring in interns and other marketing staff whose sole job is to scour the Internet daily for social hits about their clients. This includes Twitter, IMDB and other gossip site message boards, as well as comment boards on general news websites where news about a client or company is posted. To say they are aware of the good – and the bad (oh they are aware of the bad) – is an understatement of “Twilight”-level proportions.
But the fact that social media also plays a large role in the “Twilight” fandom is another reason Rob and Kristen choose to keep things private. They recognize very fully that their attachment was formed while they were playing Edward and Bella, and while the two wish to separate that from themselves, some members of the fandom do not see it that way.
As much as social media has given their teams these instantaneous “Q-ratings” on their actors, it has stripped away any modicum of privacy Rob and Kristen enjoy outside the confines of their home base. It’s well-known they go extreme measures to avoid being papped, and both actors have spoken publicly of the evils of twitter and other social media, noting how it has invaded their privacy in ways unimaginable.
We’d like to think that had Robert and Kristen met under different circumstances, a non-saga film, or just via casual acquaintance, that there wouldn’t be a need for these measures to be taken at all; that they would be able to more happily enjoy their careers and their privacy simultaneously. But then would their careers be where they are now? Hard to speculate.
Where most fans fail when it comes to Robert and Kristen is they are unwilling (or unable) to put themselves into their situation. The standards by which these fans judge the two are of their own experiences of private citizens. Were any of these fans to know, in even the smallest way, what it was like to live a life with so much public scrutiny, some would surely change their tune. It’s easy to judge others who live in glass houses when yours is made of brick and mortar. While thanks to “Twilight,” Robert and Kristen may be able to enjoy first-class tickets, fine meals and expensive cars, they’ve had give up those basic freedoms that we fans take for granted each and every day. A walk in the park, to go shopping in the mall, to go out on a regular date, or to a pub with friends. Even purchasing a home is not without its risks.
Robert and Kristen are simple people who came from normal, middle-class backgrounds. Their riches, while advantageous, mean very little to either of them. They still wear the same ratty jeans, plaid shirts and travel worn t-shirts we’ve seen them in for the past four years. In this regard, they have not changed (nor will they, by all accounts). They also have the same friends they’ve had for years.
Is it so hard, then, to make the leap by saying they want that same simplicity for their relationship, without outside pressures and fan drama? Just be a boy and a girl who happened to fall in love on the workplace, and who work hard to keep things going despite the types of outside influences you and I will never know?
So why continue to place demands on them? Does it help them? Help you? Help the fandom? No.
Sit back, enjoy the “gems” they give us, and stop worrying about all this “will-they, won’t-they?” Because when you do, and you see things as they are, simply, without any bias, or expectation, it becomes so obvious. And all that other stuff? Well, that’s ridiculous.