And So It Begins...

Oh, ninnies. The snipe they spew. Poor things. They’ve really lost their game with their unending pleurisy of hackneyed excuses. It’s like they can’t, under any circumstance, accept what is right in front of them. What is “so obvious.”

It’s no longer just denial. It’s outright refusal, an unyielding push to make Kristen and her team the Fuhrer in some extreme Machiavellian plot for relevancy.

Their latest missive? Bear, of course.

You remember Bear. The dog Rob adopted while filming in Baton Rouge.

Now, we’ve discussed Bear before, as well as his soap oprian doppelganer, FauxBear. Now, Bear, er, FauxBear, has experienced a reincarnation of sorts.

How else could you explain his appearance outside the Jimmy Kimmel show yesterday?

Of course, we’ve only seen one set of photos, those from a fan and blogger. And yes, even we hear at BWAN believe in a healthy dose of skepticism from time to time.

But the contorted machinations the ninnies accuse Kristen and her team of participating in, and Rob to some extent, are really the making of Hollywood writers, not actors, and not publicists.

What are these excuses, you ask?

Here are just a few:

1. Bear wasn’t there and was photoshopped into the pics. This explains why it took so long for the pics to turn up on the web, and why there are no pics from any other sources.

BWAN’s response: Remember the airplane pics? Remember the leg?

2. The pics weren’t from Kimmel, and Rob brought Bear with him.  

First of all, what does this mean?

Secondly, by all accounts, Kimmel’s studio was just a few blocks from the Graumann’s site and some of the fans who saw Bear were also at the handprint ceremony earlier in the day.

3. Kristen is just a dog sitter. And a doormat.

Not sure what this proves, really.

4. Kristen is a famewhore and uses Bear behind Rob’s back.

Ah, the old famewhore excuse. We’ve seen this one again and again and again. Even when Kristen is displaying behavior not even REMOTELY close to that of a famewhore (*coughKimKardashiancough*), she’s accused of doing just that. And do people really think that Kristen would be so underhanded as to take Rob’s (and HERS, let’s not forget) dog without his knowing about it? If you think this, then how does that rank with the idea of her being the doormat, as noted above. She can’t be a manipulator AND a doormat. Pick one and stick with it. Or, better yet, accept the truth for what it is.

5. Kristen is a famewhore and he would rather send Bear than be with her himself.

Oh, right. And that’s why he could hardly keep his hands off of her during the handprinting ceremony, that includes during the presentation, and beforehand, when they were inside the theatre in relative private. Cute pics of them close and snuggled together don’t suggest a man who’d rather send his dog than spend time with his girl. It also explains why they were staying at the same apartment in London, and why he’d gone back to London to visit and was reported on the SWATH set the week before he started European BD promo. Now, what were you saying again?

6. I walk friends’ dog all the time, this doesn’t mean they are in a relationship.

This excuse needs to be retired along with the Robsten name (they are individuals and should be identified and respected as such).  C’mon, ninnies, you can do better than that. Really, your apathy is showing. Or, really it’s not, or you wouldn’t even bother with making this shit up. And really, we do mean shit, as in steaming fresh piles of the stuff. Probably the kind that Bear drops with great regularity.

7. That’s not the real Bear, that’s the dog Kristen got named Taco.

That’s right. Kristen scoured the Internet, not to mention animal shelters across the world, to find a dog that has the exact coloring and body shape as the original Bear.

Fauxbear lives! All hail Fauxbear!

Well, we really can’t call him FauxBear now since his name is Taco. In fact, we’ll give you some originality points for that one. That’s kind of a cute name, especially for a chihuahua. Imagine the costume possibilities.

8. What the fuck are you doing, Rob!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Might we suggest a Valium or two, as well as a trip to your local psychologist’s office. Really, if you are this angry at HIM, you genuinely need to reconsider being a fan. Just saying.

9. I can’t WAIT until THAT GIRL goes back to London.

We can’t either, because it means she’s that much closer to finishing SWATH before coming home to Los Angeles where she and Rob can spend some much-deserved down time together. You know, setting up house, relaxing, enjoying one another, and experiencing some semblance of normalcy. Of course, we’d love to see BOTH of them back in London around New Year’s. You know, to uphold their annual tradition of visiting the Isle of Wight, where Kristen admittedly spent two “fucking amazing” New Year’s with her English boyfriend (NOT Marcus), along with his family and friends.

10. I DON'T CARE!!! PR! PR! LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE!!

Tell us how you really feel. And while you’re at it, you might want to re-evaluate just how many fucks you really DO give. Because if you REALLY didn’t give any, then why would you feel the need to use shouty caps?

So, there you have it, folks. Another day, another episode of “Let’s Count the Excuses.”

It must be tiresome believing in such charades all the time. At least it makes for GREAT entertainment.