Ninnies and nonnies and Bear. Oh my!

Another day, another nod to the melodramatic in this fandom. But hey, without it, we at BWAN certainly wouldn’t exist, nor would we have this much fun if it weren’t for a little drama. So let’s have some fun, shall we?

The latest on the long, long list of THINGS THAT ENTERTAIN US is Bear, Rob’s newly-adopted shelter dog. If you haven’t seen him, he’s a scruff of a thing, all long legs, with a funny black and brown brindle coat and dark snout. 

And much like pups his age, he’s going through his awkward phase, still unsure of the world and the strange atmosphere into which he’s been thrust.

Little does he know how famous a dog he actually is, nor what a ruckus he’s caused just by being adopted.

Bear first got mention around the time that Breaking Dawn was still being shot in Baton Rouge. There were rumblings of a pup, but nothing was confirmed until Rob came out in the Vanity Fair article and confirmed he had adopted a dog to combat his “loneliness.”

As with all things fandom, the word “loneliness” set off a maelstrom of interpretations, especially among the ninnie camp. “See!” they claim. “That’s proof that Rob’s not with Kristen. He’s lonely on set, that’s why he had to get a dog.”

Uh huh.

Rob, through his VERY OWN WORDS, did say he was lonely on set, but does that mean he’s lonely as an individual? No. It simply means that movie sets are lonely places to be, especially for talent. Ever been to a movie set? (And no, we’re not asking you, set stalkers). Have you ever really sat and watched or been a part of a movie as it’s being made? BO-RING.

As exciting the final product on screen is, and as many “exciting” moments as there may be during actual filming, all told, for many on the production, movie sets are woefully boring places to be if for no other reason than there is a heck of a lot of sitting around and waiting (yes, even when your co-star/girlfriend is on set with you).

Actors usually arrive on set in the wee hours of the morning to get fit into their wardrobe and have their make-up put on.  From there, they go into their own trailers to sit and wait, and sit and wait, and perhaps rehearse or read or watch tv, but generally to sit and wait, and sit and wait some more, until the lighting crew is set, and then the DP is set, and then the stunt coordinator is ready, and then the lighting crew has to reassess because there are now clouds, which throws off what the DP is going to do because he has to change filters, and now they need the stand-in to come and make certain the makeup still works under the new lighting, and the second director has to get the extras in place, and so on and so on and so forth. All the while, the ACTOR is still sitting and waiting (usually in his trailer), some five hours after arriving on set, doing little to nothing, until some lackey comes to escort him to scene which he’ll be finished shooting in about, say, forty-five minutes give or take, based upon the director and number of cuts needed (assuming it’s not a full-tilt action scene).  And seeing as he’s still in full costume and make-up, it’s not like he can run down to the local bowling alley and get in a quick game or two while he waits.

See? Excitement.  And lots and lots of down time. Lots and lots of downtime, ALONE. Even with your best buds right there with you, sets can be LONELY places. What better companion to combat on-set loneliness than a dog?

And what better place to get a dog than at the local shelter?

Now, we at BWAN are big dog fans. HUGE. In fact, nothing warmed our hearts more than to learn that Rob didn’t just get a dog, but adopted Bear from a shelter that was close to euthanizing him. Rob later explained during the Water for Elephants promo tour that one of the best ways he’s found to spend his untold riches (we’re paraphrasing here), is that he could readily afford to get Bear, who had come down with a case of Parvo virus and was deathly ill, “the best possible care available.” Rob, melt our hearts just a bit more, please.

 Now somewhere near the releasing of the Vanity Fair article, but before Water For Elephants promo, (sorry, we’re too lazy to go back and figure out the timeline), some innocent girl tweeted out that she had seen BOTH Rob and Kristen at a veterinary office in L.A. And it just so happened that both Rob and Kristen were in L.A. that weekend, having been on some kind of a break from filming Breaking Dawn¸ which had now moved to Vancouver.

Uh oh.  Say it ain’t so, paw. That can’t be. They would NEVER go to a vet together in L.A. Why? WHY? WHYYYY???!!!

Now, this was by no means confirmation of Bear (no pics), but it did give a pretty damn good indication that: a) there was truth to this dog rumor dog, and, b) Kristen was somehow in the mix.

The second time we got “confirmation” of Bear was when papp photos appeared nearing the ending of the Breaking Dawn filming in Vancouver. Here was cute Bear, all legs and floppy ears and black snout, cavorting about playfully like most pups do, with Kristen’s assistant John, watching at his side. 

                                            

                              Cue the awwwws…. and the aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh!!!

Because instead of focusing on the cute pup playfully tromping about set, the ninnies were seething that the dog was in the care of Kristen’s assistant, whom they have lovingly dubbed Toilet. (John = Toilet, see?)

“THAT’S NOT BEAR!!! It’s HER dog,” they’d snarl. “Shelters usually have these things in litters. Of course she had to adopt one, too. They just look alike. It’s just for PR.”

Never mind THE FACT that there has been NO INDICATION WHATSOEVER that Kristen has adopted a dog on her own. She has not mentioned it in any interview, no gossip has come out about it, nor tweets, nor anything else to indicate that she adopted an animal aside and apart from Rob (and at the same time as him).

 Now, wouldn’t most REASONABLE people think, that Rob, in the many interviews he gave during the lengthy Water For Elephant promo, if he wanted to put any of the BS to rest, he would have said, “yeah, Kristen and I both got these dogs.” But he didn’t. There was only one dog adopted, and there is only one dog now.

HE adopted a dog. That dog’s name is Bear. End of. (And no, we’re not going to have the “they’re co-parenting Bear,” argument, because that’s another brand of silly we just don’t want to deal with).

Which brings us to “Bear confirmation” number 3 (or 3 ½ if you’re really counting). New York City.

Oooh my… what New York City did to people, ninnies in particular.

You see, one day, not long after Kristen killed the red carpet in Proenza Schouler for the Met Gala, she exited her hotel, Bear in tow.

Once again, logic and reason were quickly replaced by the ever-present bitterness that ninnies seem to wear on them like some prideful cloak, and with that bitterness the seething began anew.

“That’s not BEAR!” the ninnies cried.

ORLY?

THEN HOW COME THE TAG ON THE DOG’S COLLAR SAYS “BEAR” ON IT?

“That’s photoshopped!! It’s PR!!! She’s using the poor animal as a PR stunt. She called the paps just to take that photo of them!! Look how she’s abusing him! She’s just a famewhore. How DARE she drag that poor dog down the street like that, and do you see those shopping bags, she’s taking it shopping. EVIL EVIL EVIL!!!”

“It’s really HER dog. She just duplicated the tag so people would think it’s Rob’s dog, but it’s NOT. I’m not going to believe it until I see a photo of THAT DOG with Rob.”

Cue eye rolling in BWAN headquarters.

Fast forward to Toronto.

Oh, Toronto. With tweeted sightings every few hours (most of them fake), the ninnies seemed to calm just a bit, until someone tweeted that they had actually seen Kristen walking Bear, IN TORONTO, sans Rob, during a time we knew Rob was still doing WFE promo. A few days later, sightings began anew, this time with the three of them walking together, mostly in the wee hours of the night (as one would do if one were a ninja).

Now, we at BWAN are not so gullible that we jump right onto every tweet and gossip item and relate it as biblical truth. Au contraire. We’re downright skeptical on many things, but do, as our reasoned minds allow,, tend to put two and two together where evidence makes sense, and draw conclusions from there. And there were just enough reasonable-sounding encounters out of Toronto to make us think, even if no photos emerged, that there was some truth to what had been reported, which was that Rob and Kristen were in Toronto, together, with Bear.

Of course, a week later, right before Cosmopolis began shooting, when a seemingly credible tweeter sent out that Kristen was on her flight back to L.A. from Toronto, and then pap pics surfaced of Kristen arriving back at LAX, that reasoned evidence turned out to be absolutely true.

Of course, excuses prevailed from the ninnie camp…

“She was just there to drop off the dog. She is nothing more than a friend. She’s the dogsitter.” Ad nauseum. Ad nauseum. Ad nauseum.

For the past few weeks, as things tend to happen when Rob and Kristen are apart, ninnies were able to placate themselves for a bit, go lick their wounds as they do, until the next round of “uh oh,” begins.

And thankfully, or not, “uh oh” came to pass this weekend, with Bear as its star attraction.

See, those ninnies, who had long been of the belief that the “Bear” seen with John, and the “Bear” seen with Kristen, was NOT the REAL Bear, were now suddenly faced with the proof they had long desired (pics or he doesn’t exist).

And as ninnies are wont to do when presented with such evidence as provided by the now famous balcony shots of Rob, Bear, Sam Bradley and a (sometimes) member of Sam’s band, they DENY it over again.

“The pics are too blurry. Lots of shelter dogs have that coloring. It could be a littermate. They’re playing with us.”

Once again, “we” fans are being played; duped by the Duke and Duchess of Deception, and once again led down the path of tomfoolery by Summit because, as we know, SUMMIT OWNS ALL. Hell, if you really look at it, Summit probably adopted Bear in Rob’s name and is making him go on various photocalls with Rob and/or Kristen as a substitute “Renesmeee” in order to keep up with the “Rob and Kristen have a family” charade, because that’s what movie studios do these days, force their actors into fake relationships to sell tickets to a film saga that already has a built-in fan base. That, and Summit is probably also behind the whole Representative Weiner scandal in order to push pervy housewives into reading more fanfic smut so they’ll continue to support the Twi saga, but that’s a theory for another day. *shrugs* 

In the meantime, the snarling continues, the denial continues, the mad, mad, mad delusion continues, because no matter what happens, no matter what Rob and Kristen ever come out and say, short of Rob showing up with Kristen at each and every one of the ninnies’ homes and pronouncing to them personally “this is the woman I love, deal with it,” they’ll continue to deny Rob and Kristen’s relationship until breath is no longer in their bodies.

That’s fine, good for them. It just gives us more entertaining things to write about.