Sign Us Up, Please!

We’d planned on posting the follow-up to Wednesday’s well-received HATE post yesterday, but as things shift quickly in this fandom, we wanted to address a topic that seems a little more timely at the moment:

Petitions!

Yes, by golly gee. Apparently, ninnies are all in a tussle over the idea that anyone, especially (psst) “SHEEP”, would deign to ask MTV that Rob and Kristen be interviewed TOGETHER for Breaking Dawn promo. You know, the Breaking Dawn movie in which Robert and Kristen star TOGETHER – as HUSBAND AND WIFE? And no, we’re not making some hidden claim that they are husband and wife. We get that Rob is NOT Edward and Kristen is NOT Bella, but we’ll masticate on that another time.

“That’s so stupid,” the ninnies whine. “What about the rest of the cast? There are only about 347 jillion cast members? Why just Robert and Kristen?”

Well, let’s see.

Maybe, just MAYBE, because Robert and Kristen are the TWO MAIN LEADS (reference the paragraph above where we talk about them playing husband and wife for further explanation).

Why would it be such a bad thing for the two principal actors in a film, who are playing love interests in said film, to be interviewed TOGETHER during the promotion of that very film? It kind of makes sense, and it happens quite a lot in the business known as film promotion.

Didn’t we have Robert and Kristen interviewed together during the original Twilight film, before the Edward/Bella/Jacob love triangle of New Moon and Eclipse? And during both New Moon andEclipse promo, didn’t we have multiple media calls where Robert, Kristen AND Taylor were all three interviewed together?

Sure. Because that was the dynamic of those particular films. In this film’s dynamic, we’re back to the DUO. Edward + Bella. Get it?

Of course, those early Robert and Kristen interviews didn’t bother ninnies because Kristen was still with her then-boyfriend and Robert was single and lookin’ to mingle (and by mingle, we don’t mean jumping across the barricades at a film premiere and hopping into the pants of his most ardent stalkers fans).

Haven’t we also seen Robert interviewed together with the co-star of another film in which they played romantic leads for promotion of that movie? (*coughReeseWitherspooncough*)

Why, of course we did. And it was cute as hell.

So, why the screeching?

There wasn't a problem with Rob and Reese during Water for Elephants.

And there weren't any issues with Robert and Emilie de Ravin during Remember Me.

And we’re certain that if Rob were to be interviewed alongside Sarah Gadon or another female co-star for Cosmopolis, there’d be no problem with that, either.

Ohhh, that’s right. Emilie, Reese and/or Sarah aren't (psst) THAT GIRL.

But guess what? Kristen IS in Breaking Dawn.

As much as we’re sure you’d prefer an interview with Rob and Ashley, and/or Rob and Nikki and/or Rob and anyotherfemalestarinthegalaxyasidefromKristen, those people are not playing Rob’s love interest in this particular role, are they?

Is the petition a bit over the top? Perhaps. We really don’t know.

What we really DO know is that MTV reporter Josh Horowitz (Douchowitz, as he’s known in ninnie camps), encouraged fans to let the MTV execs know that if Robert and Kristen FANS want to see this interview happen, then they need to let their voices be heard.

What better (and easier) way to that than with a petition?

We recognize it’s a slim shot from a high tower on a cloudy day that this will actually happen, but as fans of BOTH ROB and KRISTEN, we’re willing to take the risk. It certainly can’t hurt.

Best case scenario, we get what we want, which is to watch the ninnies squirm see Robert and Kristen together in what will likely be their last interview together for the foreseeable future.  And why not end the series of which they are the two main stars (please reference that husband and wife paragraph – AGAIN), with an interview of them – TOGETHER, where both their awkwardness and cute glances and shy smiles would be fully present.

If you don’t like it, guess what? YOU DON’T HAVE TO WATCH IT. Just like if you don’t like a particular actress, you shouldn’t watch the films in which she stars. NO ONE IS FORCING THESE THINGS ON YOU.

But you do watch those things, don’t you? You watch those films, and you comment upon, making snide remarks about how “great” her co-stars are, and mocking her abilities. Meh. Your opinion, we suppose, but what we don’t understand is IF YOU HAVE SUCH AN AVERSION to her, WHY WATCH IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Did someone strap you down, Clockwork Orange-style and force your eyes open so you HAVE TO WATCH as a means of torture? No! YOU are renting these movies, YOU are putting them in your DVRs, YOU are watching them ON YOUR OWN VOLITION. So, how does that play into the “I DON’T LIKE HER” phenomenon you’ve got going on?

If you “don’t care” as you claim, you wouldn’t spend SO MUCH TIME with HER as the subject of your tweets and rants and comments on private message boards dedicated to disliking her.

There are plenty of actresses BWAN isn’t fond of, but for some reason, those people’s names don’t end up in our collective tweetstreams or even in this blog here? Why? Because we really, truly DON’T CARE about them. So we are expressing that NOT CARING by not even bothering to make comment on those things. Out of mind, out of tweetstream… see how that works?

We get it. We really do. You are OBSESSED WITH HER. Even though say you do not like her, you are still obsessed with her, because it riles you to no end that the man you claim to be such a fan of happens to care greatly about this woman. AND IT KILLS YOU THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHY. Think about it. If you really DON’T CARE, then WHY TALK ABOUT HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?

Which brings us back to petitions.

When people CARE ABOUT SOMETHING, they usually make up a petition, or sometimes stage a letter-writing campaign, to try to get something they want (or don't want, as the case may be).

Why, even you ninnies know about letter-writing campaigns, don’t you?

We know, we know. You told us. “It was a joke.”

But really, do you think we’re THAT mindless? In Psychology 101, “It was a joke” is one of the oldest diversionary tactics (i.e. lies) in the book. Kind of like the kid who gets caught throwing a bag of dung on some other kid’s front porch. “I didn’t mean it. It was a joke.” Too late. Damage done.

Just own up to it and say “We really didn’t want THAT GIRL at the WFE premiere, so yes, we did that.” Case closed. At least by admitting that, it shows you to have a base level of principles, however low they may be.

So we’re owning up to this one, and are proudly standing behind the petition to get MTV to interview Rob and Kristen together for Breaking Dawn. If we get our wish, good for us. YOU DON’T HAVE TO WATCH. And if we don’t get our wish, we’ll still have plenty of other delicious moments of Rob and Kristen together during the Breaking Dawn promotional tour, and for what we hope will be years to come.

Just when we think we have a post all polished and ready to upload, a furor ensues, and over the teensiest little thing.

Addendum:

Yesterday, one of our BWAN contributors found THIS SILLY THING http://ow.ly/1tQaF6 quite by accident. We decided to post it to point out once again the insanity among some of Rob’s “fans.” We were actually amused by the thing. What did these people expect to get from this? Were they going to print it out and hand it to Rob, telling him they DEMAND that he cease and desist all romantic interest in Kristen simply because they added their name to an online petition? Yeah, cause we’re sure he’ll really listen to fans on how to live his PERSONAL LIFE.

Well, one of OUR most ardent fans (*waves*) linked to it, and oh, oh my, what hilarity ensued. Seems many folks over in ninniland got their proverbial panties in a wad over a teensy-weensy widdle petition (haven’t we seen this before?) Yes, we’ll admit, several R/K supporters were offended by the thing, but the ninnies really went full-bore, even going so far as to claim that “they” would never start such a thing, and that it was obviously started by someone in the “Robsten” (can we say how much we hate that word?) camp in order to implicate the nons in some devious scheme.

Say what?

This reminds us of those political commercials that try to implicate “the other guy” in some big conspiracy where no conspiracy exists. You know the ones. “I was set up. None of my supporters/people who share my beliefs would EVER take part in such gross misrepresentation of my values.”

So, what you’re saying, Mr. Weiner, is that it was NOT, in fact, YOUR wiener in those underwear, or in those blurry photos, that someone “faked” your wiener for PR purposes and then set up a situation so you would be seen out walking your wiener, which is really NOT your wiener, on the streets of NYC just in time for the paps to take a photo of it.  Uh-kay. I guess they photoshopped you into that mirror, too.

Next.

First of all, no one here ever accused any “nonsten” of posting that petition. And why would we? The people who started that petition actually BELIEVE Rob and Kristen are a couple, so that automatically disqualifies 98.2735% of the people who call themselves nonstens.

Secondly, is it not at all beyond the realm of possibility that there are people who are NOT members of nonsten, who also happen to NOT like Kristen, who would do such a thing. With Rob having what is likely hundreds of thousands of fans across the globe, we’re pretty sure we know the answer to that.

But as seems always the case with all things nonsten, the most obvious and LOGICAL explanation just doesn’t do.

Maybe we need to start a petition against the illogical.