Diary of a Mad [insert word here] Woman

Well, friends and fans. The day has finally come. The day we’ve all been waiting for since the very beginning. The ninnies are leaving the ship. And they’re not going quietly.

For those who haven’t been around the past seventy-two hours, here’s a brief recap.

On or about Friday night, word on the twitterverse was that Rob had hightailed it over to Paris to spend time with Kristen, who is over there for Paris Fashion Week, and to spend time with some of her OTR cast mates and director. There was an airport sighting and photo, tweets about Paris, but as often happens with these ninjas, things went quiet until they suddenly weren’t.
Saturday night, the fandom world exploded when photos of Robert and Kristen enjoying a quiet (and cuddly) dinner in a small Paris bistro hit the internet. There were the usual pap photos, but some fan photos, too, photos that showed the two of them being playful and affectionate as they often are with one another.

Immediately, fans of Robert and Kristen’s started their usual happy dancing, while the irrationally Robsessed started chewing on their toenails and any other surface they could find that would give them an outlet for the anger and betrayal they felt for this last demonstration of Rob’s NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cue SUNDAY afternoon, and what do we at BWAN hear? Information  shared by a close colleague with industry ties, describing the barrage being unleashed on Rob’s WME team  as the lunatic fringe decried Rob’s personal life, decisions and choices.  As reported here yesterday, the Ninnies spewed their litany of complaints  --  Rob is throwing away his career to be with Kristen, he should be doing more promotion for Bel Ami, and of course the ever popular “she-will-bring-him-down-because-the-majority-of-fans-don’t-like her.”  Fortunately the good folks at WME have been dealing with this sort of nonsense for years from over-invested (aka deranged) fans  - although as with most things Ninnie, the  high degree of entitlement and low degree of rational thinking put these missives in a class by themselves.

The good news for Ninnies is that their campaign DID get a reaction. The bad news is that reaction can best be summed up by the letters LOL.  Bigtime.

But even as they were making one last desperate attempt to be relevant and assert their ownership over Rob’s career, Ninnie-world was in meltdown as they continued to be pelted with the irrevocable and inarguable evidence that every conspiracy theory, convoluted rationale and out and out lie that they have promulgated over the past few years came crashing down around them.


Now, as we see it, this implosion has been a long time coming. What else would you expect from a side of the fandom that has been so wrapped up in conspiracy and other theories about what is REALLY going on in Rob’s personal and professional life that they could not see reality through the Rob-colored glasses they’ve been sporting since 2009. It’s a classic case of erotomania.

“BUT WHY????” they cry. “HE OWES US ANSWERS!!!!!”
No, he does not.

 “The only thing an actor owes his public is not to bore them” - Marlon Brando

All you owe the public is a good performance.

                                                      - Humphrey Bogart


He does not owe you any explanation for his behavior, any more than he owes anyone a confession that he and Kristen are together.  You CHOSE to be his fan, just as you CHOSE to create and believe in fantasies construed in your own head, and by the lying leaders among you; fantasies that are now unraveling before your very eyes. Well, really they’ve been unraveling for about three years now, but you CHOSE not to see things that way. Don’t say you were not warned.

         
In most instances, being a fan is a one-way relationship. For the lucky few who get to interact or meet their favorite celebrity at an official, sanctioned event, or even for the luckier few who may happen upon him or her during a quiet, more private moment at a restaurant or concert perhaps (we’re not talking about the hotel or set stalkers), there is no exchange of phone numbers, or promises of future time spent together, or offers of work or romantic dates, or anything even remotely resembling these things. There is a nice smile, a hello, perhaps an autograph and a photo, and that’s it. That is what he gives you, and as a HUMAN BEING, he is not obligated to give more than that. In case you haven’t been paying attention, HE HAS A LIFE TO LEAD, AND YOU ARE NOT IN IT.

Despite what the most deluded among you still cling to, there was never a contract for ownership between you and Rob.

THIS DOES NOT EXIST.

Anymore than there has EVER been a contract between Rob and Kristen, and Summit for continuing a public relations romance for going on four years now. In case that’s not clear enough, let’s couch this in language you will hopefully understand:

THERE IS NO CONTRACT!!!!!

So, now here we are at a crossroads, a pinnacle moment in many ninnies’ lives, where they realize that after three or more years of fawning and obsessive devotion to their idol, they realize they just can’t go on because he is not succumbing to their will.

Some of us at BWAN have likened this to Phase 3 in the Elizabeth Kübler-Ross stages of grieving: BARGAINING.

As we see it, most ninnies have been stuck somewhere between DENIAL (aka shock) and ANGER (Phases 1 and 2) for about three years now. What else would compel them to come up with such theories as secret blonde girlfriends (she’s now Italian and a brunette, by the way); PR closets that are stuffed with mustard-colored bags, rings, bracelets, shoestrings, shirts, jackets, and oh… a dog; conspiracy theories at each and every turn (Kristen was in Budapest for work, Summit forced her to go to Remember Me, Rob is Kristen’s beard, Summit pays off all of the media to promote “Robsten,” oh…. and Kristen has her own dog used for PR purposes).

Even as recently as the past 48 hours, new theories have developed: Rob is in Paris to help promote Balenciaga (erm, what?); Rob and Kristen are now out and about because The Hunger Games premiere is coming up and Summit/Lionsgate is sending them out to bring attention to it.

You see where this is going, right? If ninnies were on that side of the nuthouse when they were just in the anger phase, imagine where now they are in the bargaining phase. How else can you explain the email missives to the WME execs? Instead of “God, why are you doing to this?,” they are asking “Rob, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US LOYAL FANS??? WE DESERVE MORE!!”
Part of this bargaining and transition into depression (Phase 4) has taken on quite an eerie tone as fans are starting to turn on Rob in virulent ways. We always knew that their misplaced anger and expression of hatred against Kristen was really disguised as hatred against Rob, but now and finally they are letting their claws come out. Of course, while lots of these folks would claim they are just expressing an “opinion,” we see what could be deemed as slander, if looked at the in right vein.

We’ll let you be the judge.

“Now that he has pissed off even some of the most devoted fans BF [that’s ninny code for Kristen] has achieved what she wanted, he is despised as she is.”

This one obviously hasn’t been paying attention to what directors, co-stars and other industry folk have to say about Rob, which is that he’s organized, hardworking and highly dedicated to his craft. And really, another Twilight? And here we thought you all were ready for him to move away from that.

“It’s clear he isn’t someone able to hold onto jobs because his personality isn’t made for commitment. He was fired from a play in London before he did Twilight. That should be a red flag. Then he needed money and Twilight came. Now he is blowing chances in the filmbiz. Why? Because he is too arrogant and sure of himself in thinking he can pull the same stunt again and get another change like Twilight.”

Here’s one that blames Rob’s management. Of course, WME would know NOTHING about handling an actor’s career. They only have a client roster that includes or has included Robert de Niro, Michael Fassbender, Hugh Jackman, Viggo Mortensen, Tilda Swinton, Emma Thompson, EMMA WATSON (ninnies, we know how you love her), Mark Wahlberg, Denzel Washington, Francis Ford Coppola, David Cronenberg, Walter Salles, Martin Scorsese, Clint Eastwood, and so on and so on.

SHAME ON YOU, WME, SHAME ON YOU for NOT LISTENING TO FANS!!!!!!! THEY KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

“…it is hard to believe that he was called the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE, the most influential man of 2010, the next leo di caprio n johnny depp, but instead of building his career seriously, he is engaging himself in pr romance with bitchface… Now he has only sheep left who will only support his twishit movie, he should kiss his career goodbye.”

These two can only explain his wanting to be with Kristen as a sign that he is on drugs.

“It’s his life, his choice. He knows the dangers of doing drink and drugs to excess, and only he can choose to stop or carry on.”

Sadly, we’re pretty sure this kind of discussion will continue to go on with these people for the foreseeable future. Why? Because they don’t understand and refuse to face the reality that while Rob is invested in his career, and does think very highly of his fans as a whole, the line stops there. And instead of moving towards acceptance (remember “where there is acceptance, there is peace”), the ninnies will continue clinging to this irrational anger because like it or not, they simply refuse to break what little connection they feel they have to him.

Our simple advice would be to move on and let go, find something of value to do in life, like, perhaps, open a cupcake shop.


But really, if Rob’s own management won’t listen to silly little them, why should they listen to silly little us.

Oh, and in case you missed it, THIS poor soul REALLY needs some help.