The One Where We Put It to Rest (Well, At Least One of Them)

Remember as a child when you would see something that sparked your interest and you just had to know everything about it? That’s something that as adults we never really grow out of.  In fact, with time, we become better at it. Our attention spans expand and we are more driven than ever to REALLY understand it.

That is how we’ve felt about CandyKizzes24. She’s been an enigma to us, a conundrum of sorts, mostly because she represents a particular brand of special we’ve yet to encounter in any other part of life. Where else but online do you come across someone so obsessed with an actor that they would willingly put their own reputations at stake and risk libel suits in order to besmirch and demean the very person he is in a relationship with.

As people, this fascinates us. As individuals who work in areas where human behaviour and response is an inherent part of what we do for a living, well, we’re right perplexed.

Our fascination with her has never been because we felt she spoke any sort of truth. We’ve known her to be a pathological liar from the get-go. What’s held our attention is the fact that as time has gone on, her lies and actions have only become louder and more extreme. It doesn’t matter that countless people have called her out on her words and have thus disproved her. It doesn’t matter that time and time again people have provided verifiable PROOF that has completely countered her perfidious claims. Nothing matters to her. Not integrity, not the harm she tries to inflict upon others, and certainly not honesty.

She is a seriously misguided individual who cannot control her inability to tell the truth, a classic narcissist with psychotic tendencies that has been given far too much credence in the realm of this fandom.

What sad kind of existence she must live to make up extremely vile and outlandish claims about people she has never met (and no, don’t come at us with that poor excuse for a manip from 2009). The cherry on top? The people she claims as friends? Even they have finally seen the error of their ways and have abandoned her, throwing her to her own devices and claiming they don’t want anything to do with her, nor do they want her representing them. That is the lowest of the low for anyone.

Sad they couldn’t see her for what she is so many years ago. Even more sad it took them so long to do so. Kind of speaks to their intelligence, don’t you think?

So as we find ourselves reflecting on our childhoods today, we can’t help but think of that integral moment when that favorite toy you’ve been playing with suddenly becomes completely uninteresting and you toss it to the side. We feel that for you, CK.

We are bored. The things you say aren’t worth speaking of because as of now, we are CERTAIN that not one person actually believes the shit you spew. So with the New Year in a month’s time, we are doing a cleansing. Oh we’re certain that you will stomp your feet and flail like a petulant 6 year old boy who isn’t getting that bike for Christmas when you realize that no one is paying you any mind. We’re sure that you will use that time to think up more ridiculous lies. Just as we’re sure no one will believe them. After all, if there is one thing you excel at it is terminological inexactitudes.

Gimmie Gimme More...

The fandom has been extra riled up over the past 48 hours or so, and all because of one simple thing: the lack of a direct confirmation from Rob or Kristen over the status of their relationship. Notice we said direct. Those with eyes, ears and even a modicum of common sense know very well the relationship has been confirmed and time again over the past two+ years, but in subtle, indirect ways.

Fans on all sides of the equation are using the lack of direct confirmation as vehicle with which to accuse Robert and Kristen (namely Robert) of a multitude of sins.

Ninnies use it as absolute PROOF that Robert and Kristen are not together. (We’re not going to go into the multiple and ridiculous ways they are wrong about “The Insider” video from Monday night).  They ignore every piece of evidence set before them, refusing to accept anything but word from Rob himself. Not that it would make a difference. The ongoing hatred toward Kristen would continue regardless whether Rob were to remain quiet, or smack it all up and make some grand gesture with a much-anticipated kiss during the next MTV Movie Awards (not gonna happen, folks). 

Krisbians, on the other hand, use it as a means to vilify Rob and prove that he is not worthy of Kristen because he has not declared himself publicly. Some Kristen supporters even go so far as to say that the hatred riled up by the nonnies would finally be put to an end if Rob were to confirm things, and that this makes him a bad boyfriend (we do have to give them half a point for acknowledging the fact that he IS the boyfriend). These fans also believe he should come out and directly chastise the Nonstens for the way they act towards Kristen and the malicious things they say about her.

What neither side wishes to acknowledge is that Robert and Kristen are adults, capable of making their own decisions about their private lives. That the two have chosen to keep things quiet is a bone of contention. These extremist fans believe that Robert and Kristen owe them an explanation. They push for answers as if it is their right to have one. (“Whyyyy don’t they just say it,” they cry. “He MUST be embarrassed by her, otherwise he’d admit it.”) And when small nuggets are dropped (“my boyfriend is English”), some automatically jump on their soap boxes, calling Kristen a famewhore and accusing both of playing  a manipulative game with the media and fans (the fact that both have acknowledged the “game” aspect of it doesn’t help things.)

They don’t trust that Robert and Kristen know what is best for themselves and each other (you really think they’ve not discussed it?), and stand firmly rooted in the belief that they should be privy to something Rob and Kristen time and again have proclaimed to be a private matter. To these fans, it doesn’t matter what Robert and Kristen want, which is simply to keep what is theirs, theirs. 

Instead of enjoying that which Robert and Kristen do choose to give, they see a confirmation as a panacea to all of their woes, fandom or no.

If ninnies get their answer, will they go quietly and find another actor to crush on? No. If Krisbians get their answer and have Rob call out the nonstens for their hatred towards Kristen, will those nonstens leave ship, or even those Krisbians for that matter? No again. A few people may jump off the fanwagon, but in general, these people’s behaviors won’t change a lick.


It’s been pretty well documented that the behaviors exhibited, particularly by the nonstens, constitute a psychological addiction. Nothing else can explain their excessive need to decry any and everything Kristen says, does, wears, eats, or acts in as wrong. And having Rob tell these fans to fuck off isn’t going to help. It’s going to hurt - both of them.

What world would we be living in if Rob, or Kristen, for that matter, were to make personal decisions based upon the desire of their fans? We don’t own them, nor control them. The best fans are admirers from afar, and don’t make any attempt to intervene with their professional or personal lives. 

Social media, including Twitter, has changed the game completely. Now large companies, including talent agencies, are quick to bring in interns and other marketing staff whose sole job is to scour the Internet daily for social hits about their clients. This includes Twitter, IMDB and other gossip site message boards, as well as comment boards on general news websites where news about a client or company is posted. To say they are aware of the good – and the bad (oh they are aware of the bad) – is an understatement of “Twilight”-level proportions.

But the fact that social media also plays a large role in the “Twilight” fandom is another reason Rob and Kristen choose to keep things private. They recognize very fully that their attachment was formed while they were playing Edward and Bella, and while the two wish to separate that from themselves, some members of the fandom do not see it that way.

As much as social media has given their teams these instantaneous “Q-ratings” on their actors, it has stripped away any modicum of privacy Rob and Kristen enjoy outside the confines of their home base. It’s well-known they go extreme measures to avoid being papped, and both actors have spoken publicly of the evils of twitter and other social media, noting how it has invaded their privacy in ways unimaginable.

We’d like to think that had Robert and Kristen met under different circumstances, a non-saga film, or just via casual acquaintance, that there wouldn’t be a need for these measures to be taken at all; that they would be able to more happily enjoy their careers and their privacy simultaneously. But then would their careers be where they are now? Hard to speculate.

Where most fans fail when it comes to Robert and Kristen is they are unwilling (or unable) to put themselves into their situation. The standards by which these fans judge the two are of their own experiences of private citizens. Were any of these fans to know, in even the smallest way, what it was like to live a life with so much public scrutiny, some would surely change their tune. It’s easy to judge others who live in glass houses when yours is made of brick and mortar. While thanks to “Twilight,” Robert and Kristen may be able to enjoy first-class tickets, fine meals and expensive cars, they’ve had give up those basic freedoms that we fans take for granted each and every day. A walk in the park, to go shopping in the mall, to go out on a regular date, or to a pub with friends. Even purchasing a home is not without its risks.

Robert and Kristen are simple people who came from normal, middle-class backgrounds. Their riches, while advantageous, mean very little to either of them. They still wear the same ratty jeans, plaid shirts and travel worn t-shirts we’ve seen them in for the past four years. In this regard, they have not changed (nor will they, by all accounts). They also have the same friends they’ve had for years.

Is it so hard, then, to make the leap by saying they want that same simplicity for their relationship, without outside pressures and fan drama? Just be a boy and a girl who happened to fall in love on the workplace, and who work hard to  keep things going despite the types of outside influences you and I will never know?

So why continue to place demands on them? Does it help them? Help you? Help the fandom? No.

Sit back, enjoy the “gems” they give us, and stop worrying about all this “will-they, won’t-they?” Because when you do, and you see things as they are, simply, without any bias, or expectation, it becomes so obvious. And all that other stuff? Well, that’s ridiculous.

Monday Morning Stupid

Seems like our dear ninnie friends have been playing “out of context” again. You know, the game where they selectively pull out a portion of a quote, only to turn it to mean something it’s not? This quote has been tweeted and tumbled and bumbled and sent out as a new rally cry, that in the ninnies’ myopic eyes, screams “See!!! Proof!!! They’re not together!”

The quote in reference is by none other than Billy Burke, who as Twilight fans know, plays the role of Bella’s father Charlie in the Twilight series.

Here’s the quote as the ninnies have been tumblring:

“There’s a lot of conjecture and things people would love to believe be because that’s what people do. That’s the weird, strange thing about this business. People look at people on a movie screen or in an interview and they develop ideas and opinions that probably most of the time are not anywhere near true.”

Wow! Quite telling, no? And vague, right? Pulling out these sentences, and he could mean anything, especially in the minds of the ninnies’ where they automatically contort these words to mean that Billy is talking about Kristen’s relationship with Rob, and therein disproving it.

But, in their haste to spin the truth, the ninnies forgot the most important thing of all: context.

Let’s take a look at the quote, IN ITS ENTIRETY.

“Um. I’m not sure that there are things that people know about her.  There’s a lot of conjecture and things people would love to believe because that’s what people do. That’s the weird, strange thing about this business. People look at people on a movie screen or in an interview and they develop ideas and opinions that probably most of the time are not anywhere near true. So I guess the first thing that comes to mind is that she’s probably way more misunderstood than people would imagine. And she’s such a genuine human being, and seems to be very true to herself. I really admire that about her.”

Nowhere in this quote was Billy talking about Kristen’s relationship with Rob. He wasn’t disproving a thing about that, nor even talking about their private life. He was instead pointing out how Kristen herself is misunderstood as a person because of how she is often portrayed via the media, and how the labels people cast onto her are not at all like she is in real life, someone that Billy calls “a genuine human being.”

Given that, we have to wonder why the ninnies would use this quote at all. It’s not within their realm to even think about posting something that could be construed as half-way complimentary.

Not to mention that it completely goes against that good old PRomance theory they've worked so hard to make relevant. 

Really, ninnies. And to think YOU think you are all the smart ones.

NListed: A Redux

Remember when we did a post on “The List?” You know, the encyclopedic tome of media outlets, celebrities and other folk who the ninnies can’t stand because they deign to compliment Kristen? Well, Ann Curry, step on up.

Seems her reference to Rob’s “beautiful girlfriend” caused quite the little stir in ninnieland.

Now, we’ll admit to being a huge fan of Ms. Curry’s. HUGE. We think she’s one of the classiest gals in broadcast television (Diane Sawyer is our favorite). But we’re also ready to admit that Ann is much better at general human interest or world news coverage than she is in entertainment reporting.

That being said, the ninnies are certain, CERTAIN, that Ms. Curry got a big ‘ole fat Summit paycheck to make her end-of-interview comment about Rob’s “beautiful girlfriend.”

We thought she handled the moment with great aplomb, and while it was a bit awkward and rushed (likely due to some producer giving her the “wrap it up” signal off-camera), it’s obvious to us, and to everyone who has even an iota of common sense, that the proverbial cat is out of the bag.  

So, while we had a few moments to while away the time before doing such important household tasks as dusting our Robert Pattinson commemorative plate collection, or vacuuming our hand-loomed Edward Cullen rug (we are all desperate housewives, afterall – at least according to the ninnies), we thought we’d put together a quick compendium of people and media outlets that are ninny-approved, and compare it to the list that gets their porcine tails all twisted and bent out of shape.

Hey, at least the ninnies are keeping company with someone.

NONNY-APPROVED
dListed
PerezHilton
CeleBitchy
Chelsea Handler
ONTD (Oh, No They Didn’t)
David Cronenberg – hey, we like him, too!

All credible, don’t you think?

NONNY NON-APPROVED
Ann Curry
Matt Lauer (remember Tristan Blewart)
David Letterman (for his first Rob interview in 2009)
Shauna Robinson
Wyck Godfrey
Lainey Whatsherface (we really could care less about her, either)
Ted Casablanca
Taryn Ryder with Celebuzz (formerly with E! Online)
MTV
Josh Horowitz
TheFABLife
VH-1
Kate Spencer
Wyck Godfrey
Catherine Hardwicke
Chris Weitz
David Spade
Bill Condon (his “I worship at the altar of KS” comment did them in)
Eddie Redmayne
Garrett Hedlund
Giovanni Agnelli
Melissa Leo
James Gandolfini
Jason Sudeikis
Joan Jett
Marcus Foster (videogate)
Michael Welch
Reese Witherspoon (she’s really nonnie-approved, but they hated when she said nice things about Kristen)
Ryan Reynolds
Tom Sturridge (he complimented K on her work in OTR)
William Hurt
- basically any other actor, director, producer or music / media professional who has every worked and paid a compliment to Kristen on her work ethic, abilities, creativity and dedication to craft.

Anna Wintour
Vogue US and Italia
Allure Magazine
Elle UK and US
Flaunt Magazine
Glamour US, UK, France
GQ UK
Interview Magazine
W Magazine
- any other magazine that starts with any letter between J and U

We’re certain, too, as we get closer and closer to On the Road’s release and Snow White and the Huntsman’s release and end of filming, that more complimentary words are to come.
Of course, according to the nonnies, all of these people are on the Summit dole, or are being paid by Kristen’s management group to “tow the line,” and say only nice things, because there is no way, NO WAY, according to the ninnies (who, as we know are expert on all things movie production), that Kristen could be viewed as anything other than the bitch-faced harpy they make her out to be. Funny, really, seeing as so many ninnies are bitch-faced harpies themselves. Guess it takes one to know one.

So, you see, BWAN friends, all it takes is a quick look at “The List,” and we’re pretty certain we can predict whose company you’d rather keep; and as always, who is the more sane and reasonable among them.

Until next time (and boy, do we have some doozies ahead).


P.S. We fancy ourselves little psychics sometimes. So let's "seer" what's in store for the up coming years.

We predict that a certain englishman and a sweet Cali girl will begin a love affair with Starbucks in 2013. We're off to buy stock in instagram.

And So It Begins...

Oh, ninnies. The snipe they spew. Poor things. They’ve really lost their game with their unending pleurisy of hackneyed excuses. It’s like they can’t, under any circumstance, accept what is right in front of them. What is “so obvious.”

It’s no longer just denial. It’s outright refusal, an unyielding push to make Kristen and her team the Fuhrer in some extreme Machiavellian plot for relevancy.

Their latest missive? Bear, of course.

You remember Bear. The dog Rob adopted while filming in Baton Rouge.

Now, we’ve discussed Bear before, as well as his soap oprian doppelganer, FauxBear. Now, Bear, er, FauxBear, has experienced a reincarnation of sorts.

How else could you explain his appearance outside the Jimmy Kimmel show yesterday?

Of course, we’ve only seen one set of photos, those from a fan and blogger. And yes, even we hear at BWAN believe in a healthy dose of skepticism from time to time.

But the contorted machinations the ninnies accuse Kristen and her team of participating in, and Rob to some extent, are really the making of Hollywood writers, not actors, and not publicists.

What are these excuses, you ask?

Here are just a few:

1. Bear wasn’t there and was photoshopped into the pics. This explains why it took so long for the pics to turn up on the web, and why there are no pics from any other sources.

BWAN’s response: Remember the airplane pics? Remember the leg?

2. The pics weren’t from Kimmel, and Rob brought Bear with him.  

First of all, what does this mean?

Secondly, by all accounts, Kimmel’s studio was just a few blocks from the Graumann’s site and some of the fans who saw Bear were also at the handprint ceremony earlier in the day.

3. Kristen is just a dog sitter. And a doormat.

Not sure what this proves, really.

4. Kristen is a famewhore and uses Bear behind Rob’s back.

Ah, the old famewhore excuse. We’ve seen this one again and again and again. Even when Kristen is displaying behavior not even REMOTELY close to that of a famewhore (*coughKimKardashiancough*), she’s accused of doing just that. And do people really think that Kristen would be so underhanded as to take Rob’s (and HERS, let’s not forget) dog without his knowing about it? If you think this, then how does that rank with the idea of her being the doormat, as noted above. She can’t be a manipulator AND a doormat. Pick one and stick with it. Or, better yet, accept the truth for what it is.

5. Kristen is a famewhore and he would rather send Bear than be with her himself.

Oh, right. And that’s why he could hardly keep his hands off of her during the handprinting ceremony, that includes during the presentation, and beforehand, when they were inside the theatre in relative private. Cute pics of them close and snuggled together don’t suggest a man who’d rather send his dog than spend time with his girl. It also explains why they were staying at the same apartment in London, and why he’d gone back to London to visit and was reported on the SWATH set the week before he started European BD promo. Now, what were you saying again?

6. I walk friends’ dog all the time, this doesn’t mean they are in a relationship.

This excuse needs to be retired along with the Robsten name (they are individuals and should be identified and respected as such).  C’mon, ninnies, you can do better than that. Really, your apathy is showing. Or, really it’s not, or you wouldn’t even bother with making this shit up. And really, we do mean shit, as in steaming fresh piles of the stuff. Probably the kind that Bear drops with great regularity.

7. That’s not the real Bear, that’s the dog Kristen got named Taco.

That’s right. Kristen scoured the Internet, not to mention animal shelters across the world, to find a dog that has the exact coloring and body shape as the original Bear.

Fauxbear lives! All hail Fauxbear!

Well, we really can’t call him FauxBear now since his name is Taco. In fact, we’ll give you some originality points for that one. That’s kind of a cute name, especially for a chihuahua. Imagine the costume possibilities.

8. What the fuck are you doing, Rob!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Might we suggest a Valium or two, as well as a trip to your local psychologist’s office. Really, if you are this angry at HIM, you genuinely need to reconsider being a fan. Just saying.

9. I can’t WAIT until THAT GIRL goes back to London.

We can’t either, because it means she’s that much closer to finishing SWATH before coming home to Los Angeles where she and Rob can spend some much-deserved down time together. You know, setting up house, relaxing, enjoying one another, and experiencing some semblance of normalcy. Of course, we’d love to see BOTH of them back in London around New Year’s. You know, to uphold their annual tradition of visiting the Isle of Wight, where Kristen admittedly spent two “fucking amazing” New Year’s with her English boyfriend (NOT Marcus), along with his family and friends.

10. I DON'T CARE!!! PR! PR! LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE!!

Tell us how you really feel. And while you’re at it, you might want to re-evaluate just how many fucks you really DO give. Because if you REALLY didn’t give any, then why would you feel the need to use shouty caps?

So, there you have it, folks. Another day, another episode of “Let’s Count the Excuses.”

It must be tiresome believing in such charades all the time. At least it makes for GREAT entertainment.

That Amusing Moment...

When words bite you in the ass. 

                                         
The next day when something happens that proves you wrong...

When you attempt to twist it around...

And when you then start to insult...

When you yourself have failed to comprehend things before you speak...

Pattinson was seen arriving at the apartment on the evening of October 29. A tired-looking Stewart was spotted arriving around lunchtime on October 31 Pattinson's rep Sarah Spear visited the apartment on the evening of October 30.

So...just because they never papped them together...it automatically means they were NEVER in the same place at the same time. Do we have that right? 

So then explain how ANY of that says...

Any TRULY knowledgeable person who is well educated in the workings of Public Relations (or just any SANE person will do) knows that the two people in question would have to, at the VERY LEAST, be in the same frame for it to garner any true publicity and make any money. How is this PR for the "greatest showmance of all time" if they aren't even on the SAME DAY?

We aren't quite sure why you're so dumb, Candy. We'd think any "law student" would know that the following is illegal behavior...

Posting about that on a social networking site seems a bit foolish, don't you think?

Not that we're surprised. You often make glaring mistakes such as this. 

But none of this really matters because obviously these pics (to which HollywoodLife had a post about yesterday) are all in an effort to draw attention from the Water for Elephants DVD release. 

So...are you saying that the Details outtakes that came out were in retaliation to Kristen being in GlamourUK? Oh. Wait. You did.

Wow. These two people who are supposed to be in a "Paid to Order PRomance" sure are doing a shit job of it...